Typically I don't really get into advise on how to meet, catch or hold onto a guy....but the following blog post I think is worth sharing. I see so many women that seem to think that they are not complete unless they have a guy and I think we sell ourselves short in the process!!

11 Things Every Girl Should Hold Out For.
by Shallon Lester, Single-ish, Glamour Magazine

Since I’m in between relationships at the moment, I’ve had some time to think about what I want and don’t want in a future partner. It helps, too, that I’ve had ample opportunity to observe all of my friends and their relationships. So I made a list of some must-haves we single ladies should be looking for. Well, not just looking for, but holding out for. Here’s what is non-negotiable:

1. A guy who can make you laugh. Some things in life are not funny. Can he make you at least chuckle when the chips are down?

2. A guy who will laugh at your jokes and “get” you. He might not understand you perfectly on the first date, but if you think you’re funny at all, I hope he gets that and appreciates it about you. Otherwise, you could be Kathy Griffin and you’ll still be laughing alone your whole life. Well, she's single. But I mean, if Kathy Griffin were—whatever!

3. A guy who will attend your lame “things.” Adult dance recital, Mom’s birthday party? Find the guy who will go to something boring even though he will get nothing out of it—but he'll go for you.

4. A guy who will do nothing with you. And I mean Nothing. If you’re feeling low-energy, anti-social, or blah, can he sit and do nothing with you or does he always leave you on the couch and go party with the guys? And could you two entertain each other on a deserted island or while stuck in traffic?

5. A guy who will give you a thoughtful gift or card. Not every time, obviously, but I would hope this dude would have his moments of showing you he has thought about you.

6. A guy who will say he loves you. I do not care about his made-up theory that love is just a social construct or what have you. Hold out for someone who can and will say it. Also, he shouldn’t say it just because you want him to; he should say it because it feels good to say it.

7. A guy you respect. Does he have a good head on his shoulders? Does he generally like his job? Is he proud of himself? Let’s hope so, ‘cause if you think he’s a lazy idiot, you’ll end up resenting him.

I asked some of my friends what they held out for, and this is what they told me….

8. A guy you have good chemistry with. He doesn’t have to be Jude Law, but you should be attracted enough so that every time you have an argument, you will be motivated (by your underlying desire for him!) to work it out.

9. A guy who agrees with you about travel. If you have wanderlust and he never wants to leave his hometown, don’t compromise by staying with him long-term and staying home. It’s fine to be a homebody, but if you're interested in exploring, find a guy with the travel bug. Otherwise, you’ll look back one day when you’re too old, tired, or broke and you'll wish you had seen the world.

10. A guy with similar family goals. Don’t compromise on whether or not you’ll have kids. If you want them, find a guy who does. Me, I don’t get serious with guys who say “maybe” they want kids. I want someone who feels as sure as I do—and I can't talk anyone in or out of anything.

And finally, the best one—of course, comes from my wise friend Melissa:

11. “Wait for someone who sees you the way you want to be seen. He thinks you’re smart, funny, beautiful and powerful—always. Even on days when you can’t believe any of that about yourself.”

That’s a good one! Can’t wait for that.

What are you holding out for?

Stiletto,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

PPP's Tip of the Week

Email Breach: 8 Ways to Protect Yourself by Jane Bryant Quinn courtesy of

Opt out of marketing data bases! Do it now! And don't give out any personal information in response to an email, even if it appears to come from your bank or favorite store.

Another major hacker attack last week exposed the names and emails of millions of consumers to cyber criminals — and you might be on the list. As a practical matter, you can't get out of all of the massive data banks that hold your personal data. Even the names of people who opted out might be retained. But you can do your best to minimize your risk.

The latest breach occurred at a company called Epsilon, a division of Alliance Data Systems Corp. Epsilon holds the names, email addresses, marital status, credit data, and other personal information of 235 million people. It mines the names for personal shopping habits, interests, life changes such as marriage or moving, and credit capacity, and sends out targeted marketing pitches. If you get a 30 percent discount offer from Target, to take just one example, it probably came from Epsilon. The company broadcasts 40 billion email messages annually, to consumers it considers most likely to buy.

So much of your personal data is swirling around the world that you cannot fully protect yourself. But here are some steps you can take to lower your risk:

1. Get out of marketing data bases. They all allow you to opt out, if you can find them. For example, you can block your name from being used by any of Epsilon's clients, including catalog marketers and retailers. One big problem: The database company might retain your name and just block it from being used. If a thief hacks in, he gets the blocked names, too.

The Privacy Rights Clearing House lists 135 data brokers who are selling your name to all comers, and tells you whether or not they have opt-out policies. If they do, you have to go to the brokers' websites and suppress your name yourself. I checked some of the sites and the opt-out screens are hard to find. One likely place is the broker's Privacy Policy, usually shown in small print at the bottom of the page.

2. Opt out, or unsubscribe, from every commercial email list you're on. "They're required to give you that option," says Greg Aaron, director of domain security for Afilias, an Internet infrastructure company. If you opt out at the source, your name should be removed from the large, pooled data bases.

3. Stop most direct mail. The Direct Mail Association provides a website, letting you opt out of various types of promotional mail from its members: credit offers, catalogs, magazine offers, requests for donations, and others. That should stop mail from national companies you haven't done business with before. Your opt-out lasts for five years. After than you have to sign up again.

The DMA opt-out won't stop mail from non-members, such as local businesses, charities, or mail from a company where you've shopped. You will have to contact those mailers directly and in writing (phone calls don't work). Be sure to tell them you don't want your name shared with other companies, such as Epsilon, for marketing purposes.

4. Stop your bank from sharing your name. Under the Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA), you can tell your bank not to give your name to any of its affiliates for marketing purposes, as well as to outside marketing firms. You have to give notice in writing, citing your rights under FCRA. Ask for a written acknowledgment that you've been taken off the list. These opt-outs, too, might last for just five years.

5. Stop sharing personal information on your Facebook, LinkedIn, or MySpace pages with the general public. Or, share only what you wouldn't mind seeing in a database, and leave off banking identifiers such as your mother's name. Social networks can be mined, using your email address.

6. Stop phone calls from telemarketers, by signing up with the National Do Not Call registry. When the registry began, you could stop these calls for only a limited number of years. Since 2008, however, you've been able to block them permanently.

7. Opt out of credit card offers. You can stop receiving them by signing up with the OptOutPreScreen, run by the consumer credit reporting industry.

8. Don't be fooled. Never open an email telling you that you've won something, or that you have an unclaimed package, or that there's a problem with your tax return or bank account. Just by opening it, you might introduce malware into your machine, which searches for passwords to financial accounts. If your bank or credit card company apparently sends you an email, asking you to make corrections in your account, delete. It's a cheat. Or call the institution to see if it's legit, before entering any information. With the Epsilon break-in, you might get phony phishing messages from familiar retailers, too. For more tips, check the Privacy Rights Clearinghouse and APWG, an industry organization that fights online fraud.

To read the complete article please click here

Pumps, Purses & Positivity
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Chicago's Weekend Forecast

Come on warm weather! I'll take rain, as long as it's not freezing. Have a great weekend in Chicagoland and elsewhere!

http://weather.weatherbug.com/IL/Chicago-weather/local-forecast/weekend-forecast.html

Happy Friday,

Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

Pushed Out of Fear

Until recently, I did not like driving on the highway at night. Honestly, I feared it. My heart would actually palpate as I drove along, unsure of what was around the bends and curves. Because of this fear, I would go out of my way to make sure that when I had to hit the highway, especially alone, it was during daylight hours. Well now, I‘m over it because I had to drive on the highway in non-daylight hours, not once, not twice, but four times within a week. Now, I can say, I’m ok with it. If given a choice, I probably wouldn’t choose it, but I no longer fear it.

This breakthrough came about as I traveled to the south for a family matter related to a health challenge. I left Chicago with plenty of time to reach my destination with daylight to spare. About 380 miles into a 594 mile trip, I stopped for a gas and restroom break and when I came out found a flat. Not just any old flat but what looked like a half inch tear on the sidewall. I won’t even go into what it took to get back on the road (thank God for grace and angels!), but by the time I was ready to hit the road again …..it was dark! I was not happy! I just sucked it up, prayed and rolled in by 10:00pm.

I was so happy that I made it. I was thinking how great it was that I wouldn’t have to drive in the dark again. Praise God! Ha! After spending a couple of days at the hospital with family, I ended up driving 75 miles from the hospital to my grandmother’s….in the dark! I then work up early the next morning and headed back to the hospital…in the dark. Finally, due to an unexpected late start and unplanned stops, I drove the last few hours of the trip back to Chicago…in the dark. By this fourth time, I was like whatever.

I’m so over it now, but know that I was pushed out of this fear. I had no choice but to press forward. I felt the fear, prayed, and did it anyway. I know I was not alone I had a car full. There was God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and angels all along for the ride! Now when it comes to driving on the highway at night, I can confidently say, No Fear Here!


Kitten Heels

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Weight Loss Wednesday

10 Tips for Keeping Your Workout Schedule

Article By: Sally Bevan courtesy of Weight Watchers .com

Excuse-proof your workout by scheduling in fitness.
Isn't it funny that the moment you decide to exercise, something always gets in the way? Mom stops by. That report is suddenly urgent. The dog ate your running shoes. Maybe it's time to organize your exercise?

Make life easy for yourself
Plan a regimen that fits your lifestyle. If you work irregular hours, for example, don't sign up for classes that start at the same time each week. Instead, choose activities that can be easily slotted into your day:
Walk the kids to school or run errands on foot during your lunch hour.

Draw up a weekly timetable
To help you organize your time properly, draw up a weekly timetable of planned exercise and activities. This will also help you see how much activity you're getting. Try to do something for at least 20 or 30 minutes each day, even if it's just yard work or going on a brisk walk around the neighborhood.

Attach exercise to a treat
Give yourself a reward for scheduling in fitness. Buy flowers once a week for completing all of the workouts you scheduled. You can also attach exercise to an enjoyable event, such as playing with your kids in the park or catching up with a friend on a walk.

Get everyone else on board
Make sure your family and friends know when and where you plan to exercise. This way you shouldn't get any unwelcome interruptions. If you need someone to watch the kids while you exercise, make sure you arrange this well in advance; don't rely on last-minute favors.

Anticipate motivational dips
Everyone struggles with motivation from time to time, preparing for these feelings can go a long way to combating them. For instance, if you sometimes struggle to go to your aerobics class, get a friend to call you to make sure you're not still sitting on the sofa.

Avoid danger zones Many things can distract even the most hardened of exercisers: your favorite TV show, the lure of a night on the town with friends, or a neighbor popping in for an impromptu chat. Learn to recognize your particular "danger zones" and take steps to negotiate your way around them.

Buy figure-flattering workout clothing
You don't want to look like a sack of potatoes when you're exercising. Spend a little money on well-designed, flattering and supportive gym clothes; you'll be more motivated to work out.

Have a specially designated drawer for fitness gear
When you're in hurry, the last thing you want is to be hunting around for your gym socks. Keep all your exercise clothes in a special drawer so you can find them quickly.

Leave your gym bag by the door Leaving your gym bag by the door serves two purposes: you always know where it is; and it serves as a gentle reminder that an exercise session might be due.

Put your gym clothes straight into the wash
And last but not least, when you get back from the gym or pool, put your dirty clothes straight in the washer. Nothing is guaranteed to put you off exercising more than having to rummage around in the laundry basket for the least-funky pair of gym socks!

Get your workout on!!!

Pumps, Purses & Positivity,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women