FRIENDS

As time passes by, I start to reflect on things that have happened in my short time here on earth. With all the ups and downs that I have experienced during this time there has always been one constant for me…Friends.

When I speak of friends, I speak of those that accept you for who you truly are and not the person that they feel you should be or the person that they want you to be. I have had friends that have come and gone in my life that I am today still thankful for. Each one of those people added value to my life and taught me great lessons.

When I go through day to day events, I witness many people, especially women that feel that they must have a bunch of people surrounding them. It is a sad state to me because in a lot of cases they are each using the other in one way or another. There is nothing genuine about the relationships. I have been blessed in my life to find people that I believe are real in how they feel about me. Many of them I may not speak to often but when we do it is like nothing ever changed. That to me is true friendship!

Like I said in the beginning of the year, 2010 is about revelations not resolutions. Take a look around you and evaluate some of the friendships you have. I mean take a deep look into the essence of the friendship. Here are some things that I feel can be looked at to evaluate a friendship.

If a person constantly takes and never willing to give…not a true friend
If a person constantly criticizes your goals and desire…not a true friend
If a person continues to tear you down instead of building you up…not a friend
When a person speaks ill of you to others behind your back…not a friend
A person that causes you intentional pain…not a friend
When a person finds it hard to compliment you on your achievements but instead
ask why you are doing that….not a friend
Someone that never has anything nice to say about you…not a friend.

A true friend will help lift you when you are down, listen to you when you are hurting, won’t judge when you need someone to listen, celebrate your achievements no matter how great or small, will tell you the truth when you are not quite right and accept the same from you.

I hope that all of you have the quality of friends that I do.

Much Love

Chanel

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

LOVE LONG DISTANCE

This is a topic that came up recently in a discussion I was having with a friend. Do you think that it is possible to sustain a relationship miles apart?

In the world of cyberspace people are hooking up in many ways. They talk in chat rooms, instant message, texting and email. My thought on this is that as long as people are communicating then things can flow. There are people that look at each other everyday and barely speak in passing, so why couldn’t non face to face interaction work?

I actually have a very good friend that met her husband over the phone lines. She was hooked up by her cousin with a friend of his. They spoke daily and when they finally met it was instant chemistry because they had already gotten to know each other. They got married after 3 months of dating and it is still going strong 5 years later. Of course they were both older and maybe were ready for that commitment but it worked.

In reflecting, this might be a better solution to “dating”. People don’t have that pressure of putting on airs. Over the phone people tend to be who they really are, you take a lot of pressure out of the physical aspect of it and I think that if a person is willing to communicate with you without the physical they are more likely to be genuine. Lets face it there is no need to fake the front to someone you don’t see on a regular bases.

Let me know what you think…can it work or not?

Much Love

Chanel

Real Life, Real Women, Real Talk