Preparedness

For the last few weeks I have been dealing with unexpected incidents in my life and the lives of people in my village. There have been car accidents, deaths, divorces and the loss of a child. One would imagine that you cannot prepare for any of these things and then some of them you can prepare for.

In the case of the accident and death, I was unprepared for the suddenness of something like that happening and then having to be on 24/7 and really not have all the information I needed to have to deal with the situation. For that reason, we had a sit down with our 10 year old daughter and told her of our wishes should something happen to us and our plans for her, should something happen to us before she reaches adulthood. Most people were appalled that I gave those types of instructions to a 10 year old, but I know only too well, what can happen in the aftermath of a funeral and I don’t want my daughter caught up in drama while she is trying to grieve.

As for the divorce, there are always signs that a marriage is failing. I have been married 23 years and I hope that I would be able to see those signs. However, my friends are in denial, fighting and ruining the memory of their marriage over inane stuff. For the sake of your children, I implore people to try to be the bigger person. I know that it is not easy, but it leaves a lasting scar on your children and forever changes their outlook on life. I have been reading “10 Conversations To Have With Your Children” by Rabbi Smuley. Although, I am not Jewish, Rabbi Smuley has some very good points and I find the book to be fascinating for myself. Some of these conversations I needed to have with myself.

The loss of a child is something no one is ever going to be prepared for at anytime. I didn’t and still don’t know how to help my friends. I do know that all I can do is to be there for them when they need to talk and not try to act as if their child didn’t exist. Memories are what sustain us in all things, whether, divorce, death, childhood or adulthood. Our memories are what can get us through the tough times and we should do everything we can to cherish them.

In being prepared, I would suggest that you have a couple of things, 1) A Will, 2) Living Will for medical issues 3) Power of Attorney 4) Plans for your last wishes and 5) Mad money in case you need to get a divorce and a plan for the divorce once you become aware that you are getting one.

I know that people don’t like to talk about these things, but it will save you a lot of trouble and being prepared will take the sting off of some tough times.

Peace and Love,

Sandals

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