While driving today my mind began to ponder. I actually had a Sex and the City moment.
The question that came to mind is how do you define a perfect man?
If I had my way, I would say, give me one that is a good listener, unselfish, loves me so unconditionally that he makes me feel like I am the only woman in the room even though the room is overflowing with women, a great sense of humor but knows when to be serious, a provider, a protector, a priest. The list can go on and on. Since science has not yet scratched the surface on perfecting this, in the meantime we need to provide sensible solutions for future generations.
Since we seldom get all that we hope for, does that mean that we have gotten tired of trying to find Mr. Right and have settled for Mr. Right Now? Or does he truly just not exist?
Let’s take a look back.
Back in the day, a man had some ideas on how to be a man. If he was a “rolling stone”, he would keep it in the streets, did not bring it home and took care of home and everything in it. His wife, his children and even his best friend, Butch the dog, would not go without.
Fast forwarding thirty years or so there are many men that have NO CLUE on what it means to be a man.
I like to compare it to a tomato. It grows on the vine (parents) if removed to soon it lacks proper maturity…small in size, lack of beautiful crimson color, and is not good to taste. On the other side, left too long, it can become overripe to the point of spoiling, too soft and good for nothing but the trash.
Parents, we must learn to mold our male children into the men that they are called to be.
MOMS! Teach him that it is okay to talk about his feelings and not shut the world out. MOMS! Teach him that to be in love is a good thing as long as the intentions are true. MOMS! Tell your young men that you love them.
MEN! Teach your young men how to respect women most importantly by respecting YOUR woman. MEN! Teach your young men compassion and tell them that you love them. MEN! Teach your young men of their role in the home as a man. In a majority of cases, the woman is playing that role and that is not how it should be. MEN! Teach your young men to not be so hard that they loose all sense of emotions to the point that they don’t care about anyone or anything. Above all…..PLEASE STAY IN THEIR LIVES!!!!
There needs to be a balance…they need to be grounded. But most of all, THEY NEED TO BE TAUGHT!
I put this in perspective by asking this question: Do you want the beautifully colored, good to taste, pleasing to the eye tomato that comes from the healthy well-cared for vine? Or do you want the immature, not pleasant tasting tomato that comes from a dying or dead vine that is only good for the trash?
STEPS TO A GOOD HARVEST
Survey the land….Get to know your young men (his ways, his habits, his capabilities)
Cultivate – Recognize when issues arise and deal with them immediately
Fertilize – Teach them through words and actions on a daily basis
As children grow up, they will reach moments when they don’t listen to reason and are down right hard headed. But keep in mind that a well kept vine always bares good fruit.
Mary Jane
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women
Thursday, August 13, 2009
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