In Remembrance

Happy Memorial Day

Throughout today, people will be BBQing, eating, playing, laughing and loving.

Please don't forget to take time out to remember all of your loved ones, the ancestors and especially the people who make it possible for us to live in a free and relatively safe society by being in the armed forces and risking their lives for our continued freedom.

Life is so precious and today is a wonderful day to remember this very precious gift of life. Whatever your religion or personal belief, give thanks that you and your loved ones are here to celebrate another day together.

So in remembrance, I give thanks to those that have gone before me in my life (father, sister, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, Mrs. Rucker and all those that have made a special place in my life).

Give lots of hugs today and don't forget to tell someone you love them today. If someone is sick, go visit them or call and check on them. If you are holding a grudge, let it go.

Go out and enjoy this beautiful day!

Peace and Love,

Sandals,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Another gone to soon......

Diff'rent Strokes' star Gary Coleman dies

By JENNIFER DOBNER, Associated Press Writer Jennifer Dobner, Associated Press

PROVO, Utah – Gary Coleman, the child star of the smash 1970s TV sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes" whose later career was marred by medical and legal problems, died Friday after suffering a brain hemorrhage. He was 42.

Utah Valley Regional Medical Center spokeswoman Janet Frank said life support was terminated and Coleman died at 12:05 p.m. MDT.

Coleman, with his sparkling eyes and perfect comic timing, became a star after "Diff'rent Strokes" debuted in 1978. He played younger brother Arnold Jackson a pair of African-American siblings adopted by a wealthy white man.

His popularity faded when the show ended after six seasons on NBC and two on ABC.
Coleman suffered continuing ill health from the kidney disease that stunted his growth and had a host of legal problems in recent years.

Coleman suffered the brain hemorrhage Wednesday at his Santaquin home, 55 miles south of Salt Lake City.

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Having the Courage of Your Convictions

I’ve heard this phrase so many times throughout my life; meaning putting one’s opinions into practice. Though the exercise is much harder than it seems, I feel that I’ve practiced this more often than not. On a daily basis, I make it a point to think, speak and act with conviction. There are some things that I feel so strongly about that I am prepared to stand alone in defending or achieving them. I’ve learned to get all that I can from my critics, but never let them alter my vision.

I encourage you all to speak with conviction, making confident statements and not ending every sentence with a question mark. Act with conviction, even when fear attempts to take over your every move. Think with conviction, knowing that you can achieve whatever it is that you put your mind to.


Happy Friday,


Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

I HEART U!

Pumps, Purses & Positivity,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

I'm a BIG GIRL now

Who likes being an adult now? Remember when you were 12, your statement would be, can't wait to grow up! Does that make me lazy or honest to even make that statement...... being an adult sucks! Lately with this recession, friends, family and even strangers are experiencing such great loss that it makes adulthood a horrible experience.

I must admit, wish I could revert to being cared for, no responsibility, no fear...those days. Then reality sets in and we are grown now.....big girls; so we brush ourselves off and on we go. Cry, punch the pillows, scream, whatever it takes. We have to progress.....I'm a Big GIRL NOW!!!!!



Exotic, Chocolate Sling Back
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Kem - Why Would You Stay

After a long 5 years Kem is going to release his new CD, Intimacy, this summer on July 13th. I don't know about you but I can't wait!! I love me some Kem and I love the new single Why Would You Stay. Check it out, courtesy of Singersroom.com, and let me know what you think.....

Why Would You Stay

Enjoy!

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Getting your Ish in order

We as women go around each day carrying the weight of others on our shoulders; whether it’s our children, our men, or jobs, friends or acquaintances. We are natural nurturers, even if we don’t think so. Life begins with us, so why not. As I reflect on my situation and circumstances, I realize that I have tried to be way too much to a whole lot of people who did not deserve that from me.

When would I get my chance to be the one who got picked up when I had fallen? When will I be the person who gets told it is going to be alright when life has thrown me a curve? Then I realized that I had a lot of unspoken feelings that did not allow me to breathe. So I think that it is time for me to get my ish together.

Ladies we must learn to engage those that we feel have not treated us fairly. Holding all those emotions inward only kills us slowly. Now I am not saying to go out and go postal on someone but as adults we need to make sure that our voices are heard when we feel that we are not being heard.

Please take an inventory of the ish going on around you and make sure that your kindness is not taken for weakness.


Much Love

Chanel

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Courage

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

~August Wilson

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.”

~Mark Victor Hansen

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

PPP's Tip of the Week

If you are trying to get promoted PPP's tip of the week, courtesy of Career-Success-For-Newbies.com offers 9 tips that may be helpful.

How To Get Promoted : 9 Obvious And Often Not Practiced Tips by Long Yun Siang

It would be safe to say that you would have probably entertained the question of how to get promoted even before you graduated or left school. In my chats with juniors from my industry, I am often asked this question which I gladly answer. However, I sense they simply want short cuts to the next level.

These experiences pushed me to pen these 9 obvious but often not practiced tips on how to get promoted. Start internalizing these tips and make them part of your career plan. Before you know it, you would have moved up to the next level.

One main reason for people to ignore these obvious practices on how to get promoted is because they seem very long term. But they are not at all. All you need to do is to consistently DO them. I have broken them down to 3 main sections: Plan, Attitude and Action.

PLAN

1. Where Are You and Why

Are You There?How to get promoted? First you will need to have a reference point. Ask yourself, where are you now? And why are you there? Is there any key strength that has brought you where you are now that you can continue to leverage for the next promotion? Are there any weaknesses that you really need to correct before the next promotion is possible? These questions, while simple are strategic. It allows you to check your strengths and weaknesses. It forces you to access what has worked and what will work to get you promoted.

2. Where Do You Want To Be and How Do You Get There?

You obviously need to have an objective and a plan. Just saying that you want to get promoted is not enough. You need to be clear on your next position. Is it a promotion to a different department or a different branch? Write this down.

Now that you have written this down, how do you plan to get that promotion? Develop a plan for to achieve that objective. If you are lucky, you can even work this out with your immediate boss. Most bosses do not promise that promotion at such discussions but at the very least you get an idea of what are the expectations.

ATTITUDE

3. Put Pride, Passion and Belief In Everything You Do

People who get promoted are those that have a sense of pride in their work. And they take pride in their work. They are driven by genuine enthusiasm and desire to do their best no matter how small the job. They believe in themselves and they believe in the bigger goals of their unit or department and company. How to get promoted? Ask yourself; do you conduct yourself with pride, passion and belief?

4. Back it Up with Skills/Knowledge, Direction and Action

Having pride, passion and belief is only part of how to get promoted. It must be backed up skills and knowledge. That means having the necessary skills and knowledge to do a superb job. Having a direction is important to guide that energy generated by your passion. Otherwise, effort is wasted. Without action which is the actual completion of the task, all else is academic. You will be judged by what you do.

5. See Challenges As Opportunities

Another obvious tip on how to get promoted is to see challenges as opportunities. Very often I see young executives being thrown challenging assignments, which they choose to see as an additional chore. If you want to be promoted, look at challenges as opportunities to shine. Do not complain about hard work, how hard you worked or if your assignment is tougher than your colleagues’. Trust me, no one wants to know how hard you work. In everyone’s mind, their own work is the hardest.

ACTION

6. What Is Your Part?

Know your part and play your part. What is your role? Are you an implementer? Or are you a leader? Know exactly what you need to do in order for your unit to achieve its goals. Knowing your part means being a team player. No one can succeed without help from others. We all need the support of colleagues. When the team succeeds, you succeed too.

7. Do Your Best NOW

I consider this as one of the most important tip on how to get promoted. Do your best NOW. Today. This week’s tasks and projects. Do not bask in the glory of your previous work. That is gone. In all likelihood, no one else cares about it especially your bosses. Do not think too much about future projects that are not implemented yet. That is in the future. It is not here yet. Focus on DOING your best NOW. It determines how you are being judged. When you reflect too much on the past and think too much about the future, you forget to focus on the NOW.

8. Do More Than Necessary

If you want to know how to get promoted, do more than the necessary. That means volunteering for work and taking the initiative to make a job better. It also means not sitting around waiting for work to come to you. Bosses like people who can help them solve problems. Even if the problem is not yours, but if you feel you can be of help and have the expertise to solve it, then volunteer to help. You become the team’s competitive advantage when you do that. And bosses like people who give their unit an advantage over the others. Helping your team stay ahead is then helping you stay ahead too.

9. Do Work from The Next Level Up

If you continue doing work for your current position then you truly deserve your current position. People who know how to get promoted know that if you want the position next level up, you start doing some of those work from that level now. If you are a senior executive now, do some work that is only expected of an assistant manager (assuming that is the next level up). This allows you to demonstrate that you are capable of that position already.

Obviously, there are zillions of tips out there on how to get promoted. These are some of those that I deem to be obvious and not practiced enough by career success seeking newbies. Putting these into practice would greatly increase your chances of a promotion.

Long Yun Siang or Long, as he is popularly known runs http://www.career-success-for-newbies.com/ with his wife Dorena as their way of paying it forward. Their website – based on their real life experiences - provides tips, tools and advise for newbies pursuing career success.

Here's to your promotion!

Pumps, Purses & Positivity

Real Talk, Real Life, Real Women

I Want A Mate That Has……

I must admit that I am a reality TV junky. I may not religiously follow the droves of reality shows on air, but there are not many that I have not seen at least once. One that comes to mind is the show with Chilli, from the female R&B group TLC. The title of the show is “What Chilli Wants”. The show chronicles Chilli’s experience in finding the perfect man, with the help of a matchmaker.

During the first episode, Chilli gives a list of all of the qualities that she wants her mate to have. I must admit that the list was a little extreme. Well, maybe not extreme, but it was long. The man that she described was pretty much the “perfect man” that most women would build, given the opportunity. The problem arises when Chilli refuses to sacrifice any of the qualities on the list. We all have that one thing that we will not sacrifice when choosing a mate, whether it honesty, sensitivity or money. However, there are some things that you want your mate to possess, but they should not be deal breakers. I give Chilli credit for standing her ground. However, I hope that her desire for the perfect mate does not land her in a world of loneliness. After all, we all have many imperfections and would be single forever if someone didn’t agree to sacrifice when selecting one of us as a mate.

What’s on your must have versus your want list? What’s the one quality that would be a deal breaker when choosing a mate?

Happy Friday,

Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

Prom Night or Fright Night?

It is that time again!

I am sure that the parents of graduating high schools students are either happy or dreading this time of year.

Wondering what time of season it is? It is the infamous PROM SEASON!

That's right moms and dads, I hoped that you have worked plenty of overtime and double-time because this is a major event in your child's life outside of graduating college and getting married.

I was listening to the radio and the consensus was that prom has lost it's flavor. More girls are coming with less clothing so instead of a "fashion show" it is turning into more of a skin flick.

Males and females were calling with various opinions about attire. "Young ladies should not have their belly buttons showing", "dresses should be below the knee", "heavy make-up and extra tall heels should be out of the question" and last but not least, "the overnight hotel stay! He** to the naw!."

I had to laugh as some described what they saw, but then I thought about it, and that is not too far removed from some of the outfits that I have seen. Is it the videos that they watch? The clothing that they see in stores? Or is it just that parents are too busy being a friend that they don't know how to say no to these dresses?

At the end of the day, putting on a scantly clad outfit can not only cause trouble but also unwanted attention.

So as prom season approaches, talk to your daughters, sisters, young ladies that you know. Let them know that they are more beautiful presenting themselves with class and not as trash.

Parents don't be afraid to tell your children no when it comes to the outrageous outfits. They may not feel the affects now, but they will when they look at those photos twenty years from now and wonder what they were thinking. When it shows up on Face book or other networking sites as they apply for employment and wonder why they did not get the job. When your children' children wonder why were you dress like that.

In a nutshell, prom night is short, but the long term effects last a life time.

Mary Jane
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Determination

It's a very funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.

~William Somerset Maugham~

Pumps, Purses & Positivity,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

A Day at the Museum

Guest Blogger – Gym Shoe
Bio – 40-something year old wife and new mother of an adopted 5-year old.

I think you all might be tickled by this.

I went on a class trip with my son Jay to the museum yesterday to see the dinosaur exhibit. Let me just say that afterwards, I had to come home and take a nap!!!! I was responsible for 3 kids, Jay, Darcy and Mike.

They were alright at first. Darcy is a cute little girl who I think must be in training to be a talk show host. She kept firing questions at me all day then proceeded to answer them herself. She also kept lying down on things - very strange.

Mike was alright but he was not interested in looking at anything. He just kinda stayed ahead of the group the whole time and I kept trying to get him to look at the exhibit.

Jay was surprisingly good. Actually it should be no surprise since I threatened him on the playground before the bell rang. He was a little wiggly but not out of control. For the most part my group was good.

We tagged along with the teacher's assistant, Ms. Cook, and her group, Ginny, Ken and George after lunch in the Nature Walk exhibit. This is where things started to fall apart. Ginny, another cute little girl, informed me that she could not sit still or else she would get tired and fall asleep. Ken was bossy and more than a little rude.

That leaves George. When I saw George the first day of school I thought something was wrong with him. I was right. He kept wandering away from the group either by lagging behind or running far ahead. I wish a dollar fell from the sky every time I had to utter his name!!! Come on George. Let's catch up George. Don't hit the glass George. Stop running George. Get up off the floor George. George, if I have to tell you to stop hitting the glass you are going to have to hold my hand the rest of the afternoon. George get over here and hold my hand. Well, you get the idea. Needless to say George got lost.

I had to wait with five 5 and 6-year olds while Ms. Cook went to find George. They were all over the place. We found a room with a television to view a movie about mammals. I corralled them in there and THE DAMN TV WOULD NOT COME ON!!!!!!! Ken ran out, I caught him by the collar, Ginny was balancing herself on the edge of the bench, while Ken and Mike were punching each other. I told everyone that we are going to play 2 games, the quiet game and the sit on your butt game. I said, whoever plays these games with me would get a quarter. Ms. Cook was amazed when she returned, with George in tow crying his little heart out, that everyone was still and silent. The way she looked at me I think she thought that I threatened them but I eventually told her that I bribed them.

The bribe was a BIG mistake. Everybody put their money away, even Mike who did not have any pockets in his pants, except Darcy and Ken. We didn't get too much further in the exhibit before you hear their quarters falling on the ground. Ken lost his quarter and Darcy and I went looking for it. We did not find it but Ken wanted another one. I could not resist - I told him if he really wanted it he should have put it in his pocket then Ms. Know it all Darcy says “Do you have any dollars? Give him a dollar instead!” I told her if she was interested in Ken having a quarter to give him her quarter but I am not giving him a dollar!!!! Anyway we finally caught up with the rest of the group and headed for the bus.

At the end of it all my feet hurt as well as my back (new pain). I thought that volunteering for the trip would be a good thing, and it was. After spending time with these kids I learned three things. 1) The teacher had better not send another note home about Jay when these other kids are obviously out of control 2) Jay will remain an only child guaranteed - not that this was ever an uncertainty and 3) Teachers are either saints or masochists - either way it must be hell surrounded by 15 wiggly, giggly, whiny, crying, willful children every day. Bless them all.

Gym Shoe

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Summer Reading

Happy Monday! As I contemplate summer camps for my daughter, I am tasked with what I am going to do with my time. How am I going to enrich my mind? Everyone I know is aware of my four favorite pastimes: travel, reading, shopping and crossword puzzles. Travel is taken care of, new crossword puzzle books are ordered and shopping is a constant. However, reading is always a tough one.

Now that I take the train to work, I have been able to catch up on reading. In the last few weeks, I have read: “eat, pray love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett, “Known to Evil” by Walter Mosley and two by my new favorite author Stephen Carter, “Jericho’s Fall” and “The Palace Council”

Now, I am in search of new reading material. I would love to hear ideas on new books and new authors. I have been in a void since Robert Ludlum died. People have recommended Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Committed” and I might check it out.

So my request to my fellow bloggers is for any books that you or someone you know has read, found interesting and would recommend as great summer reading. I am open to most genres and like to have my interest piqued.

Here’s to happy reading and learning.

Peace and Love,

Sandals

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Farmers Markets

Another great thing about spring is the farmers markets! If you live near one you should definitely check it out. There are many reasons why they are great, but I like being able to buy fresh produce all while supporting local farmers.

I also love being able to buy fresh cut flowers at a very reasonable price. This is the time that I have fresh flowers on my counter every week to brighten up the room and my spirits!

There are several other reasons why farmers markets are great so go check one out and let us know what you think.

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

PPP's Tip of the Week

PPP's tip of the week is courtesy of Yahoo!Health and Joy Bauer . Are you a frozen food junkie? Well if you are the below article is just for you!

Best and Worst Frozen Foods
By Joy Bauer, M.S., R.D., C.D.N.

The frozen foods aisle houses a lot of convenient and nutritious time-savers like frozen veggies and healthy frozen meals—but it also gives refuge to some of the saltiest, most fattening foods in the grocery store. Here's my list of foods to snag and foods to skip in the freezer case.

1) Frozen Entrée
WORST: Marie Callender's Creamy Parmesan Chicken Pot Pie
Marie Callender's pot pies are "prepared with loved"...as well as a whole lot of salt, fat, and refined starch. They start with a "golden, flaky crust" made from white flour, butter fat, and partially hydrogenated shortening, then fill it with chicken and vegetables coated in a sauce made from half and half and full-fat cheeses. One chicken pot pie (that's two servings according to the nutrition label) doles out 1100 calories, 18 grams saturated fat (nearly a full day's allowance), and 1440 mg sodium. Don't make any room in your cart for these!

BEST: Lightlife Zesty Mexican Entrée
Unlike many frozen dinners, Lightlife meals have ingredient lists that are short and sweet, just how I like it. Their fresh, flavorful Zesty Mexican entrée features pinto and black beans, whole grain brown rice, fire-roasted peppers, and corn in a zesty tomato sauce, and delivers not one, not two, but THREE servings of vegetables, along with 12 grams of fiber. The entire meal has just 330 calories and 300 mg sodium—pretty impressive stats for a convenience food! Lightlife frozen meals are currently available only in the Mid-Atlantic states, but the company plans to eventually expand distribution nationwide. If you live outside this region, I recommend trying one of Kashi's frozen entrees, which are just as clean and healthy.

2) Frozen Chicken Product
WORST: Tyson Any'tizers Buffalo Style Hot Wings
Chicken wings may be white meat, but they have a high ratio of skin to meat, which means they're loaded with artery-clogging saturated fat. These wings go from bad to worse when they're doused in a greasy, salty buffalo sauce. All in all, one measly portion of three chicken wings (who eats just three wings?) delivers 230 calories, 4 grams saturated fat, and 580 mg sodium.

BEST: Bell & Evans Breaded Chicken Breast Nuggets
These nuggets are made from whole chunks of skinless, antibiotic-free white breast meat—not pressed meat with added fillers, like many brands of frozen nuggets. Plus, they're lower in saturated fat and salt than most of their competitors. Home-cooked meals are always best, but it's smart to keep a few fall-back dinner options like frozen nuggets in the freezer for hectic nights when you're pressed for time.

3) Frozen Vegetable
WORST: Birds Eye Green Beans & Spaetzle in Bavarian Style Sauce
Even something as healthy and wholesome as green beans can take a turn for the worse...just add refined white starchy noodles and drench everything in a rich, buttery sauce loaded with unhealthy fat. One serving of this side dish doles out 3.5 grams of saturated fat and nearly 400 mg sodium. No thanks, Birds Eye—I'll stick with your plain, undoctored frozen green beans!

BEST: Frozen Butternut Squash
Any plain frozen vegetable without added salt, sugar, or sauce is a winner in my book, but my favorite du jour is frozen peeled and diced butternut squash, like the kind from Stahlbush Island Farms. Fresh butternut squash is one of those veggies that gets skipped over in the produce section because it's a bit high-maintenance when it comes to prep. But if you buy it frozen, already peeled and cut, it's incredibly easy to add to soups, chilis, or pasta dishes. And it's brimming with good nutrition—a one-cup serving provides 80% of your daily needs for vitamin A (as beta carotene), as well as 30% of your vitamin C quota.

4) Waffles
WORST: Eggo Cinnamon Toast Waffles
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so why start off on the wrong foot with a stack of sugary, refined white bread? A serving of Eggo Cinnamon Toast waffles delivers 300 calories and 3 grams of saturated fat, plus almost 500 mg of sodium and more than 4 teaspoons of added sugar—and that's before you factor in the butter and syrup that typically goes on top. Talk about empty calories!

BEST: De Wafelbakkers A+ Cinnamon Sweet Potato Waffles
These waffles are a terrific find! They're made with 100% whole grain flours mixed with real sweet potato and are so moist and delicious on their own that you don't even need to add sugary syrup or toppings. One serving (3 good-sized waffles) is only 190 calories, 0.5 gram saturated fat, and 135 mg sodium, and you get 3 grams of filling fiber to boot!

5) Ice Cream
WORST (It's a tie!): Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup & Haagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter

It seems these two premium ice cream manufacturers are in a cutthroat competition to out-do one another for the title of richest, most over-the-top ice cream. A 1/2-cup scoop of Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream will cost you 340 calories, 12 grams saturated fat (half your allotment for the day!), 24 grams of sugar, and comes packaged with hydrogenated oils. The same portion of Haagen-Dazs' Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream contains 360 calories, 11 grams saturated fat, and 24 grams of sugar. And, if you have a couple of scoops, you'll need to double or triple the calories and fat. That's some scary math!

BEST: Edy's/Dreyer's Slow Churned Light Vanilla
Now here's a cool, creamy treat I can get behind. A ½-cup portion has just 100 calories—less than a third of the calories in one scoop of the flavors mentioned above. It's made with a combination of whole and fat-free milk, which drives down the saturated fat to just 2 grams per serving. If you think you have to sacrifice taste and texture to save on calories, think again. Edy's has fully mastered the churning process to produce a fluffy, rich light ice cream that fools even the savviest of taste buds.

Here's to your health!

Pumps, Purses & Positivity
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

The Body Beautiful by Allegra

When I lived in Oak Park, Illinois I had a trainer who I credit for helping me enjoy working out. Her enthusiasm, knowledge, and beautiful spirit is contagious. She makes you want to workout, work more, work harder.....to reach your goals. Her name is Allegra Feamster and she has started a company called "The Body Beautiful by Allegra".

It's all about discovering your authentic self and your inner beauty and becoming healthy and strong. I love it because again it's about loving yourself first!! Please check out Allegra's blog full of helpful tips and information. If you are located in the Oak Park area you can even take one of her classes.

Here's to your health!

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

You call yourself a receiver? Then pick-up the ball and run!

We all want to be the receiver of blessings.

Lord, bless my family, bless my friends, and bless my finances.

How many times have we been the recipient but did not do what was necessary to manifest or multiply the blessing?

One thing that we must learn to do is to open our eyes, catch the ball (blessing) and run for the end zone (victory).

We must learn to recognize the window of opportunity; the doors that are opening. For the window of opportunity is very small.

Seize the moment! Holding out does not always mean holding on!

Be prepared for your next opportunity.

Receive and seize the moment.

Pick up the ball and run!

Mary Jane
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Rembering Lena Horne

We will miss you Lena!

Stiletto,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Hobo’s Question of the Day

Hobo typically does not have a difficult time telling someone no or saying that I don’t want to do something or can’t do something. However, lately I have been feeling more as if I should be more like “super friend”.

I have a couple of friends who continue to make bad decision or just can’t do right. Most recently one of my friends happened to get herself re-evolved with her ex-boyfriend, who continues to cheat on her and disrespect her.
She recently found out that she is pregnant and does not know what she should do or if she wants to even tell him about the pregnancy. As a friend I feel as if I should offer advice and help as much as much as I can. But part of me feels some ‘burn out” as a friend.

So, Hobo is asking should a person always provide support for a friend or should a person acknowledge that there is only so much they can do for a person and know when to just say no?

Looking for answers,
Hobo

Real Life, Real talk, Real Women

PERCEPTIONS

Last week was long and grueling for me. What I found to be a resounding theme for me was peoples perception. Not just of me but my actions. How important is it to respond to what others perceive you to be or how you should act?

Daily I found myself trying to defend myself against what others perception of me was. The things were minor but annoying none the less. I remember growing up and being taught to live and let live. Everyone is entitled to there own view on a situation. When is it ok for someone to project what they believe you are onto you? Believe me I have no problem discussing a particular view, but don’t try and make me see myself as you perceive me to be.

Have you ever encountered this type of situation, whether it in the workplace, family or personal life? How did you handle it? Was there anything you learned about yourself from the incident.

Much Love

Chanel

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Love
Her love is like an island
In life's ocean, vast and wide
A peaceful, quiet shelter
From the wind, the rain, the tide.
'Tis bound on the north by Hope,
By Patience on the West,
By tender Counsel on the South
And on the East by Rest.
Above it like a beacon light
Shine Faith, and Truth, and Prayer;
And thro' the changing scenes of life
I find a haven there.

~Author Unknown


A Mother's Love
A mother's love! What can compare with it! Of all things on earth, it comes nearest to divine love in heaven. A mother's love means a life's devotion - and sometimes a life's sacrifice - with but one thought, one hope and one feeling, that her children will grow up healthy and strong, free from evil habits and able to provide for themselves. Her sole wish is that they may do their part like men and women, avoid dangers and pitfalls, and when dark hours come, trust in God to give them strength, patience and courage to bear up bravely.

Happy is the mother when her heart's wish is answered, and happy are sons and daughters when they can feel that they have contributed to her noble purpose, and in some measure, repaid her unceasing, unwavering love and devotion.

~ Anonymous

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

PPP's Tip of The Week

Are you trying to eat healthier but just can't stay away from fast food restaurants? This week's tip of the week, courtesy of self.com, may help with that.

7 Fast-Food Lunches that Keep You Lean
SELF.com
By Lucy Danziger, SELF Editor-in-Chief

Many of us seem to operate on one speed—overdrive! And that habit has carried over to our food habits, too: Fifty-nine percent of women eat on the go, according to a study in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association. Those who eat while driving, working or otherwise occupied, tend to fill up more on fast food. While you can hit the insta-burger joint occasionally without gaining, those who indulge in fast food more than twice a week tend to be 10 pounds heavier than those who eat it sparingly, according to a study in The Lancet, which puts them at greater risk for diabetes.

The good news: As long as you place a smart order, it's possible to eat fast food without tacking on pounds. One stay-slim secret worth remembering? Beware the combo meal: The average side accounted for a third of these meals' 1,200 calories, a study in the journal Obesity indicates, so avoid the fries-with-that trap. As for the healthiest options on the menu board, you can't go wrong with the all-stars below. Speedy, nutritious meal? Coming right up!

QUIZNOS
Pan Asian Chicken Chopped Salad. Order the dressing (it comes with Spicy Asian dressing) on the side and use half of it, or ask for fat-free balsamic vinaigrette for a healthier option. About 330 calories.

BURGER KING
Veggie burger with cheese, lettuce, tomato and ketchup; garden salad with 1/2 packet of light Italian dressing. About 550 calories.

McDONALD'S
Premium Southwest Salad with Grilled Chicken, with 1/2 packet of creamy Southwest dressing; fruit and yogurt parfait (without the granola). About 500 calories.

WENDY'S
Small chili with a side salad tossed with 1 packet of fat-free French dressing and 1/2 order of mandarin oranges. About 400 calories.

TACO BELL
Fresco Bean Burrito with a side of guacamole (it contains healthy fat!). About 400 calories.

SUBWAY
6-inch Subway Veggie Patty sandwich on toasted wheat bread with lettuce, tomato, 2 slices provolone, plus any other uncooked veggies you enjoy (I like mushrooms, onions and peppers), topped with mustard and/or vinegar. About 450 calories.

PANERA
Order a You Pick Two combo of Lowfat Vegetarian Black Bean soup and half a Mediterranean Salmon Salad. About 350 calories.

Pumps, Purses & Positivity
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Dear PPP

Dear PPP,

Recently, I had a very good friend tell me that she felt that she was falling out of love with her husband and was thinking of leaving him. When I inquired as to why she felt that way, her answer was simple. She said that she had significantly changed during the course of their 10 year relationship and that he had not.

She now has a desire to travel more often and experience parts of the world that didn’t interest her in her early twenties. Yet, her husband is content with experiencing the world from the comfort of the living room via the television. She also said that their sex life had gotten dull and almost non-existent. The moves that made her moan as young adult are not enough for the grown woman that she has become. Unfortunately, he has become a creature of habit and continues to do the same old song and dance in the bedroom.

My friend pointed out that her biggest issue was the complacency that her husband had developed, with life in general. He had become comfortable with the have-nots and had no drive and ambition.

Aside from these issues, she pointed out that he was a good man, but maybe not for her. My first question was to ask her if she had spoken with him and given him an opportunity to change and adjust to her new self? Had she made him aware of her feelings, of what she wanted for her future? Since she admitted that he had not changed, that means that she once accepted these “flaws”. Therefore, in my opinion, she has a responsibility to at least allow him to make some changes before walking away.

I think that all people change over time. Life will make sure of that. The more you experience, the more you learn and you adjust accordingly. I am not big on giving relationship advice but didn’t feel that the things that she mentioned were enough to dissipate a 10 year relationship with an otherwise “good man”. I haven’t been single in a long time, but I’ve heard the horror stories of the clowns that are impostering men these days. That’s not to say that good single men do not exist, I know plenty.

I know that the ultimate decision will be for her to do what’s best and what makes her happy. However, am I wrong to think that she may be jumping the gun?

Please advise,

Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

Do You Skype?

As most of you may know, my son is located in Japan now and although we communicate via cell and texting I would love to see him. So when he told me that he purchased a computer I told him to download Skype so that we could see each other!

For those of you who may not know what Skype is I’ll explain....Skype is software that enables you to make free calls anywhere in the world. Skype uses P2P (peer-to-peer) technology to connect you with other users. Click here if you want to download the free software.

So, say your kids are in college, or your parents live in another state and you want them to see their grand babies, or maybe you are like me and you have a child in the Navy, or you just want to see the person you are talking to, well then Skype is for you. But the absolute best part is that it's FREE!!!! I love that word!!!

Stiletto,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Enjoy the day and if you do decide to celebrate please drink responsibly!!

Pumps, Purses & Positivity
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Prayer

I just attended a great Prayer Conference at my church. This conference was right on time because many prayers have been going up for some of my family members who have been experiencing challenges. One of the subjects discussed during the conference was how many people make misguided statements about prayer. They say things like, “All we can do now is pray.” Or “There’s always prayer.” One of the speakers pointed out that prayer should be your first option. She said that you have to shift your thinking, conduct, and habits to pray first, not as a last resort.

There was a total of five speakers each teaching on a different aspect of prayer. In the opening evening session, the first speaker spoke about the Principle, Power and Priority of Prayer. He defined prayer as authorizing God to do what He wanted to do all the time. Another key point of his session was that you should never pray the problems, God already knows. Instead, pray the answers which are in the Word. And of course, give God praise.

The morning session the next day began with a speaker who spoke about Possessing the Land. She was the speaker that emphasized that prayer is the first option. Some of her other main points were that prayer is an avenue to possessing promises. And that prayer is not a duty but a privilege and an honor. The next speaker spoke about the Rearguard Prayer. She was explaining that we are to advance and hold, not advance and lose. She spoke about how we should battle against retaliation which causes us to have to go back and handle a “fire” and lose momentum. She said if we put God ahead of us, and our angels and the blood of Jesus behind us, we are covered. The next speaker spoke about the importance of prayer AND meditation. You need both. He gave many testimonies of how he used the word and prayer to overcome many obstacles. The last speaker wrapped everything up, gave an excellent illustration linking scripture, and lead our final petition.

Other highlights of the conference were specific petitions on behalf of the incarcerated, the gang-bangers, the lost, a sick child, the nation, President Obama, and more. There were testimonies of how prayer worked. And an enlightening skit on what you should watch and what you should say. The main character in the skit realized that she had power to speak the word and take authority over everything that came against her, her family and her surroundings.

It was an overall awesome experience. My take-away……Pray First!

Kitten Heels


Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

A Detox Diet for the Soul! Take the 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse

"New Year's resolutions often fail because toxic emotions and experiences from our past can sabotage us or keep us stuck with the same old thoughts, patterns and regrets. So we end up with the same fruitless results. Can you imagine waking up today without your past history of doubt, fear and the perceptions that limit you or keep you stuck in repetitive patterns? Can you imagine being able to design a deep and meaningful future based on your soul's greatest expression and your heart's deepest desires rather than on old, outdated, unmet needs and beliefs?"

The above is an excerpt from The 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse: A Breakthrough Program for Connecting with Your Soul's Deepest Purpose by Debbie Ford. A friend of mine suggested this book and has found it to be transformational and the deepest book she has ever read. I started reading it over the weekend and then found out that Oprah has the program steps online at http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Get-Started-Take-Debbie-Fords-21-Day-Consciousness-Cleanse. I have only gotten to page 10 and it has truly been eye-opening. Here are some notes:

Introduction:
•pg 5: if you are considering this book, you know there is far more for you than you are experiencing right now. Mediocrity is no longer an option......You want more and you deserve more. You know there is something missing and you are ready to get it!

•pg 6: cracking our outer shell occurs usually when you have run into an obstacle that you can't control or manipulate or a part of your life that you can not make sense of. Know that all challenges of life are there to turn you inward, return you to your soul's deepest purpose and reconnect you to your divine essence.

•pg 9: when connected to your inner self and purpose - you don’t have to leave your room, Remain sitting at your table and listen. Don’t even listen, simply wait. Don’t even wait just be still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll to your feet because when you have faith and trust, God will answer the call of your individual soul, not in ego time but in divine time. You must accept that you are part of a much bigger game, a game that if you win, I win and if I win you win. If either loses, you both lose. The stakes are high and the winners are few because many miss this basic fact of the game.

Please take a look and let me know your thoughts. I am going to go through the steps on Oprah’s website as I read the book. I would love to have some company on this journey.

Have a Happy Monday!

Peace and Love,

Sandals

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

The Power of Positive Thinking!

We are all guilty of thinking and saying negative things about our situation. The problem is we don't even realize that those very thoughts and words play a huge part in why we are still in the very situation that we don't want to be in.

The following article gives us 5 great steps that we all can do to begin to change our thoughts and our conversations. Stop Negative Self-Talk! Five Ways to Build Confidence and Happiness by Charlene M. Proctor, PH.D. founder of The Goddess Network, Inc.

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Cancel old thoughts and substitute powerful ideas

Want to feel better and stop negative self-talk? Prune your old negative programming and take charge of your current circumstances. New positive thoughts create new systems in the brain, which produce new chemistry associated with new emotional change. Break your “put down” habit neuron-by-neuron and learn to react differently to life! The next time you catch yourself in a put-down, say out loud, “I cancel that” and instantly substitute a new and powerful thought about you.

It’s vital to remember your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and physicality are intertwined. Negative self-talk down can make you feel unmotivated and physically ill. Move your mind to a new way of being is a healthy habit you need to cultivate. Here are 5 quick ways to shift to the positive self-talk channel:

1. Check your state of mind. Choose your own attitude and emotions, not another person’s outlook on life. Focus your intentions in the present moment. Because we have a choice, life originates in the mind first. As within, so without. Be consciously aware of what you want to create – and claim it as your unique mantra.

2. Focus on today. Step away from old memories, past relationships, and hurts. Attend to the present. Find joy in what you bring to the table today. Take a deep breath, stay centered, and remind yourself you are a gift to the world!

3. See the big picture. In the universal equation, today is but a blink in time. Move gracefully through difficult moments with ease because you are not stuck there permanently – you are going “through it!” You can do this with out depleting your energy reserves by making a commitment to doing so. Remember, life goes all too quickly. Make each day count and quit wasting your energy on negative thoughts, unproductive thinking, and who said what to whom 10 years ago.

4. Release negative expectation. Focus on what YOU can do to contribute to a better world and not what others expect you to do. Pace yourself. As you practice positive expectation, you’ll find that better circumstances will be attracted to you naturally. Have faith in the process!

5. Be Thankful. There is no better way to change your energy then to turn up the volume on thankfulness. If you are thankful for what makes you happy, by the Law of Attraction, the universe will provide you with MORE to be thankful for. Be generous with gratitude – to those in your life who care, to your Higher Power, and to yourself can begin an individual spark of Divine Power. Your natural state is unlimited abundance, so be thankful for all you are and your journey.

Stiletto,

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

PPP's Tip Of The Week

PPP's tip of the week is courtesy of MSN Health & Fitness.

Tap Your Body's Hidden Talents
There are stupid human tricks, and then there are these five awesome physiological feats.
By Madonna Behen, Women's Health

Stop needle pain!

Make your next flu shot feel less piercing by putting pressure around the area that's about to be stuck, says Ross I. Donaldson, M.D., M.P.H., assistant clinical professor of medicine at UCLA's David Geffen School of Medicine. "Make a circle with your thumb and forefinger and push down for a few seconds as you're receiving the shot," he says. By stimulating receptors for pressure or touch, you can override nearby pain receptors in your skin. "It confuses your nerves, so a shot feels more like a gentle poke than a sharp jab," Donaldson says.

Silence hiccups!

Take the deepest breath you can, hold it for 10 seconds, then, without exhaling, suck in more air and hold it for five more seconds. Finally—still without exhaling!—breathe in as much more air as you can squeeze in, hold for another five seconds, and exhale. Then breathe normally. This technique immobilizes the diaphragm (the muscle at the base of your lungs), preventing the spasms. Luc Morris, M.D., and his colleagues at the New York University School of Medicine tested the method on 30 patients who were prone to frequent hiccups. "It worked immediately on everyone who could do it," he says.

Break a fainting spell!

Cross your legs, squeeze your thighs, and contract your abs. You can feel faint when your blood pressure drops and blood pools in your extremities. By tensing muscles, you keep your BP up and divert blood back to your heart and brain. University of Amsterdam researchers who tested muscle-tightening exercises found that they reduced the risk of passing out by 30 percent.

Heal nighttime heartburn!

Feeling the fire? Sleep on your left side. This preserves the natural curve of the esophagus, which helps keep stomach acid from creeping up. (When you sleep on your back or on your right side, gravity straightens out the curve.) A study by Graduate Hospital in Philadelphia found that frequent heartburn sufferers had fewer episodes when they slept on their left sides than when they slept on their backs or right sides. Find out how to combat 10 other sleep problems here.

Hold back tears!

If you're tearing up at an inappropriate moment, just clear your throat. "It interrupts the mechanism in the nasal passage and larynx that controls crying," says Rebecca Nagy, a Charlotte, N.C.-based meditation expert. Plus, after you clear your throat, you tend to swallow. This lifts your tongue to the roof of your mouth, which blocks the soft palate, making you unable to cry. "I've suggested this technique many times to brides and grooms who had trouble getting through their vows," Nagy says.

Pumps, Purses & Positivity,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women