Dear PPP

Dear PPP,

Recently, I had a very good friend tell me that she felt that she was falling out of love with her husband and was thinking of leaving him. When I inquired as to why she felt that way, her answer was simple. She said that she had significantly changed during the course of their 10 year relationship and that he had not.

She now has a desire to travel more often and experience parts of the world that didn’t interest her in her early twenties. Yet, her husband is content with experiencing the world from the comfort of the living room via the television. She also said that their sex life had gotten dull and almost non-existent. The moves that made her moan as young adult are not enough for the grown woman that she has become. Unfortunately, he has become a creature of habit and continues to do the same old song and dance in the bedroom.

My friend pointed out that her biggest issue was the complacency that her husband had developed, with life in general. He had become comfortable with the have-nots and had no drive and ambition.

Aside from these issues, she pointed out that he was a good man, but maybe not for her. My first question was to ask her if she had spoken with him and given him an opportunity to change and adjust to her new self? Had she made him aware of her feelings, of what she wanted for her future? Since she admitted that he had not changed, that means that she once accepted these “flaws”. Therefore, in my opinion, she has a responsibility to at least allow him to make some changes before walking away.

I think that all people change over time. Life will make sure of that. The more you experience, the more you learn and you adjust accordingly. I am not big on giving relationship advice but didn’t feel that the things that she mentioned were enough to dissipate a 10 year relationship with an otherwise “good man”. I haven’t been single in a long time, but I’ve heard the horror stories of the clowns that are impostering men these days. That’s not to say that good single men do not exist, I know plenty.

I know that the ultimate decision will be for her to do what’s best and what makes her happy. However, am I wrong to think that she may be jumping the gun?

Please advise,

Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.