A Day at the Museum

Guest Blogger – Gym Shoe
Bio – 40-something year old wife and new mother of an adopted 5-year old.

I think you all might be tickled by this.

I went on a class trip with my son Jay to the museum yesterday to see the dinosaur exhibit. Let me just say that afterwards, I had to come home and take a nap!!!! I was responsible for 3 kids, Jay, Darcy and Mike.

They were alright at first. Darcy is a cute little girl who I think must be in training to be a talk show host. She kept firing questions at me all day then proceeded to answer them herself. She also kept lying down on things - very strange.

Mike was alright but he was not interested in looking at anything. He just kinda stayed ahead of the group the whole time and I kept trying to get him to look at the exhibit.

Jay was surprisingly good. Actually it should be no surprise since I threatened him on the playground before the bell rang. He was a little wiggly but not out of control. For the most part my group was good.

We tagged along with the teacher's assistant, Ms. Cook, and her group, Ginny, Ken and George after lunch in the Nature Walk exhibit. This is where things started to fall apart. Ginny, another cute little girl, informed me that she could not sit still or else she would get tired and fall asleep. Ken was bossy and more than a little rude.

That leaves George. When I saw George the first day of school I thought something was wrong with him. I was right. He kept wandering away from the group either by lagging behind or running far ahead. I wish a dollar fell from the sky every time I had to utter his name!!! Come on George. Let's catch up George. Don't hit the glass George. Stop running George. Get up off the floor George. George, if I have to tell you to stop hitting the glass you are going to have to hold my hand the rest of the afternoon. George get over here and hold my hand. Well, you get the idea. Needless to say George got lost.

I had to wait with five 5 and 6-year olds while Ms. Cook went to find George. They were all over the place. We found a room with a television to view a movie about mammals. I corralled them in there and THE DAMN TV WOULD NOT COME ON!!!!!!! Ken ran out, I caught him by the collar, Ginny was balancing herself on the edge of the bench, while Ken and Mike were punching each other. I told everyone that we are going to play 2 games, the quiet game and the sit on your butt game. I said, whoever plays these games with me would get a quarter. Ms. Cook was amazed when she returned, with George in tow crying his little heart out, that everyone was still and silent. The way she looked at me I think she thought that I threatened them but I eventually told her that I bribed them.

The bribe was a BIG mistake. Everybody put their money away, even Mike who did not have any pockets in his pants, except Darcy and Ken. We didn't get too much further in the exhibit before you hear their quarters falling on the ground. Ken lost his quarter and Darcy and I went looking for it. We did not find it but Ken wanted another one. I could not resist - I told him if he really wanted it he should have put it in his pocket then Ms. Know it all Darcy says “Do you have any dollars? Give him a dollar instead!” I told her if she was interested in Ken having a quarter to give him her quarter but I am not giving him a dollar!!!! Anyway we finally caught up with the rest of the group and headed for the bus.

At the end of it all my feet hurt as well as my back (new pain). I thought that volunteering for the trip would be a good thing, and it was. After spending time with these kids I learned three things. 1) The teacher had better not send another note home about Jay when these other kids are obviously out of control 2) Jay will remain an only child guaranteed - not that this was ever an uncertainty and 3) Teachers are either saints or masochists - either way it must be hell surrounded by 15 wiggly, giggly, whiny, crying, willful children every day. Bless them all.

Gym Shoe

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