Once Enemy Now Friend

You’ve heard the stories…..married couple separates and husband starts another relationship before ending the first. Friends say “don’t worry, it will never last, he’ll be back.” And you think to yourself good riddance, I really don’t need this....but deep down inside you are praying that the person you committed till death do we part actually does come back to you.

Well what happens when that new relationship turns into his new love and then the unthinkable....his new wife?

It happened to me and at first it was devastating....ego crushing. I was dealing with a failed marriage and rejection because the man that I thought would love me forever not only didn’t anymore but decided he loved someone else. So I took the road most traveled, you know the one....hate, anger, resentment and bitterness. Of course I didn’t like her. Of course my request I mean my demand was for her to never be around my son. Of course I used hurtful names when I spoke of her. But, of course she was always around my son and of course my son loved her and wanted to tell me all about her all the time!!

After being on the road of hatred for a couple of years I wasn’t very happy with the person I had become. The shoes of bitterness, resentment and hatred started really squeezing my feet and giving me corns. I wanted to take them off but I just couldn’t seem to do it. Finally I did take them off but it wasn’t until I allowed God to begin to heal my broken heart and begin to heal the pain. When I actually allowed that to happen it was amazing how He took care of me. God began to soften my heart, He began to change my thought process. Now mind you I had gotten to a place where I was a willing participant, I had a willing heart.

It is so amazing what God can do with a willing heart. He took me from hate, then to tolerance, and finally to calling this women friend. And as I opened my heart to getting to know her it turned out that we had a lot in common. We ended up going from never speaking to talking through my ex to calling each other directly. There were times when I didn’t even ask my ex anything about my son I would just go directly to her. I began to trust that she had my son’s best interest at heart and we began to develop a friendship.

It’s been years now so our relationship is very natural to me; however when I tell the story people are so surprised because the road most traveled is what I think many expect to hear. I admit to starting out on that road but then I decided to take a detour. I admit that it didn’t feel great at first but the more I pushed through the easier it got. In the beginning I allowed hatred to imprison me. I let my heart hardened and I basically blocked out any opportunity of happiness because I was so unhappy. Then it happened, the day came when I didn’t want to hate anymore. I cried out to the Lord to forgive me. My desire was to no longer be a bad example for my son but to teach him that sometimes you don’t always get what you want; however part of being an adult is adjusting to that and making it work for you anyway.

As soon as I let go of all that hate it was amazing at how fast God moved on my behalf. By getting off of the road most traveled I learned a lot about myself and most importantly I learned how to trust in God because He had my back the entire time. I also have a once enemy now friend for life. That’s the power of forgiveness....that’s the power of God.

Stiletto
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women