RELATIONSHIPS AFTER ?

Good Morning Friends,

I have over the last year or so really thought about myself in a loving and secure relationship. While most of us desire that from another person, it seems to get harder as we get older. Is it because we change as we get older? I don’t think it is so much as changing, I think as individuals we start to look at for different things.

In our twenties, we are invincible. We are the fiercest beings walking up right. We can snag what we want whenever we want it. In our thirties, reality starts to creep in. Our bodies start to change and real life happens. Rent/mortgages, bills, loans and so on. Relationships are still fun and fierce. We party, indulge and still feel like we have plenty going on to keep us moving in the relationship department.

So what should a sound relationship look like when we reach our 40’s? Here are my thoughts. I think that all of the above should still apply with just a little more finesse. In our 40’s we start to have a broader view of what we want and more importantly what we need from a mate. Of course appeal and appearance is a factor, I would be lying if I didn’t say that it was. Thinking about it, I am not sure that it is the deciding factor though. Honestly, you want someone appealing to the eye but it is more important for you to be treated well and respected. People are not that complex to me. If you can hold an intelligent conversation, make me laugh, smell good (a major plus), have a beautiful smile (another major plus) and take care of yourself. Sounds like a keeper!

What should the 40 year old relationship look like? At 40 we should be close if not sure of what it will take for us to be happy. I think that we should be secure in whatever place we are in and be open and ready to receive a mate. Not to say that it can’t happen earlier, but by the 40’s the life that you have been using up should be ready to be shared with another human being.

Here are some checklist points that I think would place you in a category to open yourself up to the wonders of a partnership, be it at 40 or not.

You are secure in the place you stand today. You are good with you and all that you are

You are open to the fact that we are human and we all have flaws. No one is perfect

You can accept a person for who they are and what they have to offer not for what you want them to be or have

You can keep it real with yourself, be honest about what you want and need from a mate. If they don’t fit the script, don’t cast the role

Keep your heart open and your eyes too. Be willing to let someone in but don’t sell yourself short in the process

Be genuine, if you don’t like or agree with something, speak up. This can only make a relationship stronger; if not oh well they are not for you.

Listen to the quiet voice and what it says, it won’t steer you wrong

Let me know what you think.

Much Love

Chanel

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