The Conclusion
Needless to say, Stacey did not cope well with the separation from Carl.
She replayed all of the crazy episodes in her head over and over again. "Was I a good wife?" "Did I do all the things that a wife should do?" "Was I there for Carl whenever he needed me?"
She tried to find a reason why this could have happened. After much talk with friends, family, and her pastor, she came to the conclusion that she could no longer blame herself for Carl's behavior. If she had done all that she could to fight for her marriage, then she had no other choice but to move forward with her life.
This meant changing her focus. Stacey had to get back to loving herself.
She started the healing process by first forgiving Carl for what he had done and then she forgave herself. This gave her such a huge sense of relief and Stacey felt like the shackles of bondage were finally broken.
Though she went through some periods of sadness, she regained her strength, peace, and there was no hate in her heart.
As therapy, Stacey began journeling. One particular passage that she wrote in pain spoke so clearly to her now. "In life you must always make room for adjustments because there will never be a perfect fit."
Unfortunately Carl and Stacey divorced. It was an emotional process, but in every experience, there are lessons to be learned.
That is it, she said. It is time to end the pity party and go on with life...time to pick up the pieces. The first piece in the puzzle is ME!
Word to the Wise: Life can be like a puzzle. It has many pieces (life experiences) that come together to form the stories of your life. When destruction comes and scatters puzzle pieces to and fro, you can either allow them to be blown away or start working to pick up the pieces. A puzzle is not complete unless you have the most important pieces in the center (God and you). If there are missing pieces around the edges, those are the areas where you can make adjustment because they do not define the finished product.
Next weeks installment: Being alone does not mean that you are lonely.
Mary Jane
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women
Needless to say, Stacey did not cope well with the separation from Carl.
She replayed all of the crazy episodes in her head over and over again. "Was I a good wife?" "Did I do all the things that a wife should do?" "Was I there for Carl whenever he needed me?"
She tried to find a reason why this could have happened. After much talk with friends, family, and her pastor, she came to the conclusion that she could no longer blame herself for Carl's behavior. If she had done all that she could to fight for her marriage, then she had no other choice but to move forward with her life.
This meant changing her focus. Stacey had to get back to loving herself.
She started the healing process by first forgiving Carl for what he had done and then she forgave herself. This gave her such a huge sense of relief and Stacey felt like the shackles of bondage were finally broken.
Though she went through some periods of sadness, she regained her strength, peace, and there was no hate in her heart.
As therapy, Stacey began journeling. One particular passage that she wrote in pain spoke so clearly to her now. "In life you must always make room for adjustments because there will never be a perfect fit."
Unfortunately Carl and Stacey divorced. It was an emotional process, but in every experience, there are lessons to be learned.
That is it, she said. It is time to end the pity party and go on with life...time to pick up the pieces. The first piece in the puzzle is ME!
Word to the Wise: Life can be like a puzzle. It has many pieces (life experiences) that come together to form the stories of your life. When destruction comes and scatters puzzle pieces to and fro, you can either allow them to be blown away or start working to pick up the pieces. A puzzle is not complete unless you have the most important pieces in the center (God and you). If there are missing pieces around the edges, those are the areas where you can make adjustment because they do not define the finished product.
Next weeks installment: Being alone does not mean that you are lonely.
Mary Jane
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women
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