Box of Crayon's

When I was growing up, a box of crayons had 16 colors and that was it. A child could mix and match to make different colors, but that was essentially it and you never could get a true lilac with blue and white..

Today, my daughter has 126 colors to choose from as we color in her coloring books. I love to color as it is relaxing and still an enjoyable activity to do with my daughter.

I attended a seminar a few weeks ago and they gave us a box of 24 crayons to keep on our desk. It was to remind us that life is not just black and white. As professionals and in our personal life, we must look at and use all the colors the world has to offer.

So, I reclassified my life, friends, family and co-workers based on colors. Needless to say, I was amazed at the outcome. Obviously, the blues and yellows were people that made me happy, the red’s not so happy and the brown’s fair to middling. What I learned was that I need to spend more time with the people that make me happy and less time with the people that don’t. I need to spend more time cultivating relationships at work that lead to career advancement than with people that lead to career stagnation. As far as activities, I need to start doing things that make me truly happy. Ones, that I had given up because something or someone else became a priority over my needs.

For the first time in years, I am looking forward to the New Year as a year of reorganization not resolution, prioritization of me and not everyone else. To start, I went to Borders and brought a New York Times Sunday Crossword puzzle book. Tonight, I tackle yoga and tomorrow the world.

Let me know the things that you have given up, but would like to get back to doing. Also, let me know what colors are in your crayon box of life…..

Peace and love,

Sandals

Love Yourself First - Part 3

In my mission to love myself first (yes it is an everyday decision), I do a lot of searching on the internet and I am always amazed at how much information I find. Sometimes I find stuff that makes me scream out loud “Yep that’s it!” Other times I find things that I just pass over because it doesn’t speak to me. The following is an article that talks about loving yourself first and lists some practical steps you can take to get you closer to that goal. I have listed a few that I think are great points and have provided the link below if you would like to read the entire article.

Love Yourself First - I'm Happy, You're Happy, We're All Happy!
By Claire Raikes

Loving yourself is about treating yourself as you would treat someone who is really, really precious to you. Someone you love so much that you hurt when they hurt, for whom you would move mountains, just to see them well and happy.

It can be hard to get the balance right. Putting our loved ones' happiness above our own is common; we are only too ready to sacrifice our own needs for theirs. This is particularly so, though not exclusively, for wives and mothers - but this 'modus operandi' will nearly always backfire on us eventually as it leaves us wanting in some way.

Imagine, just for a moment, putting yourself first. It may sound selfish, but it really isn't. It's not about abandoning everyone else; it's simply about honoring your own well being. After all, how can you truly give all that you are capable of giving if you aren't properly nourished, rested, happy and well? And if you don't love and respect yourself, how can you expect others to do the same? So how can you start loving yourself more?

Time and treats just for you - You don't have time? You'd make time for your best friend if they were in need; you are just as worthy. Book a massage or a facial or take a walk in your favorite park - but make the time to do something for yourself regularly.

Get breathless - There is no getting away from it - exercise is crucial for good health and well being. If you don't do any, you are storing up problems. It doesn't have to be a sport or the gym; think 'breathless'. What can you do that's fun and makes you breathless? Dancing? Walking? Cycling? Doing it for 20 mins every other day would be a great start.

Rest and sleep - I used to think sleep was for lazy, boring people. And bizarrely, I was convinced that the less I got, the thinner I'd become! In fact, the opposite is true. More importantly, when you sleep your body gets busy repairing and healing and undoing any damage you may have caused it. Take sleep seriously.

Nourishment - Each time you eat, think of the food in terms of nourishment first, mood enhancement last! I used to eat a lot of pastries, but they have next to no nutritional value. They are a combination of bad fats, sugars and bad carbs. Get into the habit of thinking this way and choose foods that nourish you.

Nurture, honor and love your self - choose only those things that are good for you!

To read the full article, please click below:
[READ FULL ARTICLE]

Remember, if you want to be empowered loving you is essential!

Stiletto,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

GIVING BACK

I hope all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. This time of year reminds me of those that are less fortunate than me. I reflect on our economy and the state of the world.

I have always reminded my daughter that we must always serve others. I have constantly promoted giving back since she was a little girl. It makes me proud because each at Thanksgiving she always wants to go out and service others. I am so proud that this is something that she truly believes in doing and not just because mom says she would have to.

So as each of us are out shopping this holiday season, please reach out and do something nice for others in your area. Your thoughts should go beyond home. Pick up a gift for a child that maybe in need or check on someone elderly, but just make sure you do at least one thing for someone other than yourself.

Here are some suggestions of places to donate time and/or gifts.

Boys and Girls Club
A local shelter for families, children or women
Our men and women that fight for our country
Hospital (there is always someone that is alone and would appreciate the time)
Senior Centers
Food Pantry

Reach out to a child that may be losing there way. God will lead you to one in need, just ask him.

During these stressful times we must start to return to things that matter. This will allow the children in our lives to value time and mankind versus material goods. Teach them now about the important things in life so when they are faced with life issues they will remember what is truly important.

Have a blessed holiday season and remember that giving to others is its own reward.

Much Love

Chanel

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Holiday Shopping Safety Tips

Crime always seems to be on the rise during the holiday shopping season. This will be especially true during these tough economic times. Below are a few safety tips to help protect your safety, identity and sanity if you are one of the millions who will be holiday shopping on Black Friday;

 Dress comfortably
 Avoid wearing expensive jewelry while shopping
 Keep cash in your front pocket, instead of a wallet or purse
 Make sure that cells phone are charged in case of an emergency
 Stay alert of your surroundings and avoid, and report, any suspicious persons or
activity
 If you can, avoid using automatic revolving doors, this can be a way to trap
victims
 Always park in well lit areas
 Hide purchases out of plain view in the trunk of your vehicle
 If shopping with children, keep them close and make sure they are aware of what to
do if they get separated
 Do not get aggravated if asked for identification, it’s for your own safety

Hopefully, those that are able, will pump some life into our economy this weekend. Though our economy is on the road to recovery, let’s have fun, be safe and not forget what the holiday seasons are truly about!

Happy Holidays and Happy Shopping!

Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

This is the first Thanksgiving for Pumps, Purses,and Positivity and we would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is a time for celebration. A time for family and friends to come together to laugh, play, eat, but most of all, SHOP.

If you are one of the many Black Friday shoppers, please consider these shopping tips:

•Do not spend more than you can afford to pay for with cash (In other words, leave the credit cards at home)
•You and your family will have needs long past Christmas so don't try to meet every single want if you can't afford to.
•Go to the store with the idea of what you would like to purchase (Blind shopping equals overspending)
•Just because it has a sale sign on it does not mean it is a sale.
•If the sales paper says limited quantities or no rain check on the item that you want to buy, nine times out of ten the store will only have a few available or none at all. It is a tactic that is used to get you into the store and keep you there!
•If you have to question, will "Jane" like this? She probably won't.
•Wear your comfortable shoes, comfortable clothes, and do not bring a purse if possible.
•Gift Cards, Gift Cards, Gift Cards!! Need I say more. They never go out of style and always are the perfect fit.

Make this holiday season not only a time for gift giving but a time for reflection. Look at where you have been over the past eleven months, look at where you are now, and look forward to where you are to be. That alone is more than enough to be thankful for.

So as you gather around the Thanksgiving table today, think of Gods goodness, mercy, and faithfulness. As you start to reflect, you will truly begin to feel the reason for the season.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!


Mary Jane
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

A Recipe

Today I am going to keep it light with a recipe I saw on the internet. It sounds very flavorful, pretty healthy and hearty, easy-to-make and perfect for the colder weather, so I thought I’d share it with you. Serve it with some nice, buttery cornbread and YUM!




Caribbean Rice and Peas
Recipe from Food Network Magazine

Cook Time: 1 hr 15 min
Yield: 4 servings
Prep Time: 40 min
Cook Time: 1 hr 15 min

Ingredients:
• 10 ounces frozen black-eyed peas, thawed
• Kosher salt
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 6 ounces turkey kielbasa (or other smoked sausage), thinly sliced
• 1 large bunch scallions, sliced, white and green parts separated
• 2 small ribs celery, diced
• 6 cloves garlic, sliced
• 1 jalapeno, finely chopped
• 2 teaspoons jerk seasoning
• 2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 cup uncooked long-grain brown rice
• 2 bay leaves
• 4 cups stemmed and chopped collard greens

Directions:
Combine the black-eyed peas, 3 cups water and a pinch of salt in a small pot. Cover and bring to a boil.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large, deep skillet over medium heat. Add the kielbasa and cook until golden, about 2 minutes. Add the scallion whites, celery, garlic, jalapeno, jerk seasoning and a generous pinch of salt. Cook until the vegetables brown, about 5 minutes. Add the thyme and tomato paste and cook, stirring occasionally, until the tomato paste turns brick red, about 2 more minutes. Add the rice, bay leaves and the black-eyed peas with their liquid to the skillet and bring to a boil; do not stir.

Add the collards; cover, reduce the heat to low and simmer undisturbed until most of the liquid is absorbed, about 50 minutes; set aside for 10 minutes. Remove and discard the bay leaves.

Just before serving, add the scallion greens and fluff with a fork.

Enjoy!

A Cute Funky Handbag

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

I Choose

I greatly enjoy the music of India Arie. Her lyrics are usually right on point in so many ways. A number of years back, when I was “getting myself together”, I had figured out that happiness and many other things in life, were a choice. So when I heard her song, I Choose, it absolutely resonated with me. It is from the Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship album. From the first strains of “Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been. But today, I have the opportunity to choose.” I thought YES! You can’t change where you’ve been! But you can choose. I then heard her sing, “I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through, filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes. I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances. But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags I'm making room for my joy.” HEYYYYY! That’s right! I was still wrestling with shame and knew firsthand about God’s grace! When I heard “And I choose, to be the best that I can be. I choose to be authentic in everything I do. My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.” WOOOOO! I must have played that song 10 times full blast. My neighbors probably thought I had lost it. I was singing and dancing! It was great! There are other excellent lyrics in the song about being too concerned with what others think, living for yourself, making decisions, and changing who you are. I’m not sure what events in India’s life birthed these lyrics, but I am glad that it produced this song. It’s an awesome anthem of liberty and taking a stand.

CHOOSE everyone! CHOOSE courage, happiness, to be the best, joy, love, and forgiveness. Just CHOOSE!


Kitten Heels

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

First Quarter Report Cards

First Quarter Report Cards

My husband and I had the pleasure of picking up our daughter’s report card this past Wednesday. As usual, all A’s and B’s. Since preschool, we have always gone together to ensure the school knows that this child comes from a very involved and concerned household and that we are her staunchest advocates. Also, we let the school know that we are willing participants in this teacher/parent partnership of educating our daughter the very best of her potential. We leave no stone unturned in getting her the tools necessary to succeed.


I am not saying this to brag or boast, but to make the point that as parents, we control our children’s educational destiny. It is very sad to hear that many parents don’t bother to show up Report Card pick up day. Citing, I can’t take off work, they’ll send it in the mail. Yes, our children must have the mindset and willingness to learn, but we must steer them towards a life of learning. If they don’t have that mindset, we must find the tools to help them overcome their educational challenges. We must provide guidance and leadership in helping them understand this world, not just the United States. The children growing up today will inherit the most diverse population the world has ever seen and minorities will be 60% of the world’s population in less than 20 years.


Therefore, we must be examples and role models for our children. They must see us reading, doing crossword puzzle, exercising, and most importantly eating healthy. Children learn by example. No matter what happens, people remember the bad before they remember the good. Children are labeled bad, before they are labeled good.


The disparity in education across the State of Illinois is appalling and no matter if our children are in the “good schools”, we all need to complain until the level field is leveled for all children regardless of color and socio-economic standing. My daughter is in incredible Chicago Public School and she has surpassed all the ISAT standards for two years. However, think about it. When they talk about minority children having lower test scores, they don’t talk about the children that are surpassing the standards, first. Let’s use all our resources, gifts, and time to make education a priority for all minority children. If you know parents that are overwhelmed, step in and become a part of their village. Everyone needs help now and then. Especially the children.


Peace and Love,


Sandals

A Time of Thanks

When I was growing up Thanksgiving was the day that meant turkey, ham, stuffing, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes and a slue of desserts. It meant Mom not getting any sleep because she would begin preparing the night before and stay up just to make sure things were perfect. It was one of the few days that my family would all sit down together at the dinner table. No television, no music, just us, with little to no conversation but that was our tradition and that’s how I remember it.

Interestingly enough I don’t really remember any long deep prayers. We said grace but that consisted of “God is good, God is great. Let us thank Him for our food. Amen.” As a child I said that out of habit, not really out of honestly giving thanks. I don’t even think I totally understood what giving thanks meant back then but saying grace on Thanksgiving was another part of my family’s tradition.

As the years went on, we gathered less and less but thankfully giving thanks became much more familiar to me. I began to understand what it meant to be thankful even when all wasn’t necessarily well.

As an adult, I have yet to prepare a complete thanksgiving dinner by myself like my Mom did back in the day; however, I have created my own tradition. For me Thanksgiving is my time to self-reflect. It’s when I go into my quiet place and I do what I call a “deep cleansing of the soul”. This is not the only day I reflect but it is the big overhaul day for me.

Over the years I’ve learned to give thanks for something every single day, not just on Thanksgiving; however I do step it up a notch on that day. That’s my tradition, what’s yours?

Stiletto
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Joys of Juicing

In my almost year old decision to achieve a healthier me, I discovered the joy of juicing. Although no one can resist fresh squeezed Orange, Apple or Watermelon juice, the thought of juicing vegetables seemed gross! I decided to give it a try and was pleasantly surprised. So much so, that now I juice vegetables much more often than fruit. After suffering from Acne for most of my life, I’ve noticed that my skin has gotten tight, refreshed and I rarely have breakouts. I have more energy and my overall attitude is more positive. I will say that when I initially started juicing, I felt a little icky for a couple of weeks as my body detoxed. I stuck with it and it has been a wonderful additional to my “still under construction” new healthy lifestyle.

I would like to share a few of my favorite juice combinations with you:

6 Stalks Asparagus
½ Lemon
½ Cucumber

1 Handful Wheatgrass
1 Inch Fresh Root Ginger
2 Medium Apples
½ Lemon

2 Oranges
3 Kale
6 Stalks Asparagus
1 Handful Spinach

These are a few of the combinations that helped me to get over my ill feelings of juicing vegetables. I typically juice for breakfast and, sometimes, for dinner as well. I’ve read that buying organic fruits and vegetables is best. When they are available, I do buy organic, but non-organic fruits and vegetables work just as well if washed thoroughly.

There are many juicers on the market these days and juicing is becoming a big craze. I am a marketers dream because I fall victim to the late night infomercials. I bought the Jack LaLanne juicer and have been very pleased with it. I hear the Breville also makes very good juicers.

Hopefully those who are interested will give juicing a try. Also, if you currently juice, please share some of your favorite combinations. I am always looking for new drinks to try!

Happy Juicing,

Clutch

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

DECEPTION

"What you have done to me, is already done to you." This is one of my favorite lines from Color Purple.

When I think about those powerful words from Ms. Celie, it could not be more true.

Today I would like to talk about deception. Deception can come in my different forms. When we add a little extra on to our deductions at tax time, that is deception. When we are in school and we grab the Cliff notes or the movie instead of reading the book assignment, that is deception. The worst type of deception is what happens when people that you trust are not who they appear to be.

My question is, what do you do when the covers are pulled off and the true person is revealed?

In the past, my first thought would be to go run and give them a beat down. Thank God for allowing me not to live in my past! But now my approach is to forgive, sit back, observe and watch correction take place. When we are deceived by our family or friends, it hurts to the very core of our being. Though their first intention may not be to deceive, but after a while kindness is taken for weakness and the person that has deceived you will feel that they have not done anything wrong.

As a reminder, picked up the faithful word of God, turned to Romans 12:19 say a prayer and go to bed. You will find a solution, comfort, and peace.

Going forward you will know that all is well.

Word to the wise: Seek God and ask for discernment in ALL things.

What inspires you?

It really doesn't take much to inspire me. I see one good deed being done no matter how small and I'm inspired. Mainly because it confirms to me that even the small things can mean something big to someone.

I found this website the other day that is full of inspirational quotes. So sometimes when I'm feeling kind of down I'll go out to this website and click on the word that describes how I am feeling at that time and read a few of the quotes. Some are funny but many are very uplifting and I find that my mood will change.

So think about what inspires you today and share because chances are what inspires you will inspire someone else!

Click below to check out the website.
http://www.heartsandminds.org/quotes/quotes.htm

Stiletto
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Are You Caught Between....?

I enjoy flipping through channels and “finding” something inspiring (thanks Holy Spirit). Recently, I saw a program featuring motivational speaker Delatorro McNeal II. I hadn’t heard of him, but just hearing the title of his book, Caught Between a Dream and a Job, I knew he had to be saying something I needed to hear. The book was released in January 2008. The rest of the title is How to Leave the 9 to 5 Behind and Step Into the Life You’ve Always Wanted. Here is information about the book from Delatorro’s website:



If you are tired of the 9 to 5 rat race, this will book will set you free!

Delatorro McNeal wants to help you move from "working to pay bills" to a life of significance, meaning, and excitement; a life of hope and expectation. Through the interactive questions and activities, motivating quotes, conversational writing style and realistic and doable transition strategies, Caught Between a Dream and a Job will help you discover and manifest all that is possible for you as you learn how to:

• Define true success for yourself and design your life on your terms
• Systematically move from job living to dream living
• Comeback from any career setback, and build a great life after a layoff
• Frame your work around your life-instead of the other way around
• View your work not as a job, nor a career, but ultimately as a dream and calling
• Become the person that you have always wanted to be by connecting your purpose to your profession and taking the entrepreneurial leap of faith
• Do what you love to do-and get paid to do it
• Find, fuel and follow your Flow so you can stop striving and start thriving
• Master your time and build a financial game plan that works for you
• Design and customize your dream life, through the Art of Allowing
• Utilize the power of The Dream Job to be your bridge to occupational freedom
• Land your ideal Dream Job using five proven methodologies
• Hire yourself and take a leadership role in all areas of your life, starting now
• Utilize the magic of part-time to water your dream and harvest your future
• Develop power relationships that will empower your job to dream transition

Endorsed by many of the top personal and professional development experts from around the world, this book helps you powerfully transition from job living to dream living!

You were created to be a creator! Now that we are living in the Creative Age, this is the best time to allow the entrepreneurial spirit that lies within you to emerge and blossom to its fullest!

I can’t wait to read the book and add the advice, insight and strategies to my arsenal. On the back cover it indicates, “If your DREAM is bigger than your job, you must experience this book!” No offense to my current employer, but this is true. Is this true for you to? If so, perhaps this book holds the key.

Kitten Heels

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Little ways to spruce up your life. (And the word diet is nowhere to be found)

I found and re-read this article in my January, 2009 Women’s Health magazine and thought we could use some fun things to think about and/or start doing as we head into the holidays:
By an item of clothing that’s so not you. Leather pants, stilettos, bikini

Switch your Swatch – to the other wrist. Any time you make an adjustment, no matter how small your brain has to work a little harder

Stop apologizing already! – Stop apologizing for apologizing.

Read one of those books your English teacher talked about with such peculiar enthusiasm (Anything by Jane Austen or Toni Morrison, War & Peace, Shakespeare, etc).

Give something back. Got 30 seconds? Go to greatergood.com to support sites that help people, pets and the planet. With one click you provide books to literacy programs, food for malnourished kids, or protection for endangered pets.

Add color to your life. Buy a sweater in cerulean. Paint your living room in a dramatic red. Vivid colors can boost your mood.

Stop with the why-ning. Why is a perfectly lovely question coming from a toddler, but not from you? Why am I stuck in this stupid job? Why don’t I have a better boyfriend? A better question: How? How do I get a better job, a better boyfriend?

Learn to say no. Put your tongue against the back of your top teeth, make an oval shape with your mouth, and let go. Feels good, no?

Find a bra that fits. Because right now, we’re guessing that yours doesn’t. (A study showed that eight out of ten women don’t know their correct bra size). To prevent cups runneth over and underwires that dig, get a professional to measure you at a local department store.

Renew a childhood passion. Try skating, pottery, coloring or perfect your Pictionary game. Take your piano skills from Chopsticks to Chopin.

Get healthy for you. Visit your doctor and get a baseline/benchmark reading on your true health. Make changes that will make you better (no starvation diets, just do things that make you feel better). Walking is easy and doesn’t cost a thing.

TRAVEL. My favorite thing to do! Get on a plane, drive to the next state. There are amazing things all over this country and the world. Many may be in the next state and only a few hours away. Plan small get away trips and then save up for a big grand vacation to someplace you always wanted to go.

DON’T WAIT UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE TO DO THE THINGS YOU REALLY WANT TO DO!

Please don’t wait until January 1, 2010 to start making new resolutions. Learn to be resolute in your decision making and do things that really bring you or someone else joy.

Peace and love,
Sandals

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Once Enemy Now Friend

You’ve heard the stories…..married couple separates and husband starts another relationship before ending the first. Friends say “don’t worry, it will never last, he’ll be back.” And you think to yourself good riddance, I really don’t need this....but deep down inside you are praying that the person you committed till death do we part actually does come back to you.

Well what happens when that new relationship turns into his new love and then the unthinkable....his new wife?

It happened to me and at first it was devastating....ego crushing. I was dealing with a failed marriage and rejection because the man that I thought would love me forever not only didn’t anymore but decided he loved someone else. So I took the road most traveled, you know the one....hate, anger, resentment and bitterness. Of course I didn’t like her. Of course my request I mean my demand was for her to never be around my son. Of course I used hurtful names when I spoke of her. But, of course she was always around my son and of course my son loved her and wanted to tell me all about her all the time!!

After being on the road of hatred for a couple of years I wasn’t very happy with the person I had become. The shoes of bitterness, resentment and hatred started really squeezing my feet and giving me corns. I wanted to take them off but I just couldn’t seem to do it. Finally I did take them off but it wasn’t until I allowed God to begin to heal my broken heart and begin to heal the pain. When I actually allowed that to happen it was amazing how He took care of me. God began to soften my heart, He began to change my thought process. Now mind you I had gotten to a place where I was a willing participant, I had a willing heart.

It is so amazing what God can do with a willing heart. He took me from hate, then to tolerance, and finally to calling this women friend. And as I opened my heart to getting to know her it turned out that we had a lot in common. We ended up going from never speaking to talking through my ex to calling each other directly. There were times when I didn’t even ask my ex anything about my son I would just go directly to her. I began to trust that she had my son’s best interest at heart and we began to develop a friendship.

It’s been years now so our relationship is very natural to me; however when I tell the story people are so surprised because the road most traveled is what I think many expect to hear. I admit to starting out on that road but then I decided to take a detour. I admit that it didn’t feel great at first but the more I pushed through the easier it got. In the beginning I allowed hatred to imprison me. I let my heart hardened and I basically blocked out any opportunity of happiness because I was so unhappy. Then it happened, the day came when I didn’t want to hate anymore. I cried out to the Lord to forgive me. My desire was to no longer be a bad example for my son but to teach him that sometimes you don’t always get what you want; however part of being an adult is adjusting to that and making it work for you anyway.

As soon as I let go of all that hate it was amazing at how fast God moved on my behalf. By getting off of the road most traveled I learned a lot about myself and most importantly I learned how to trust in God because He had my back the entire time. I also have a once enemy now friend for life. That’s the power of forgiveness....that’s the power of God.

Stiletto
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

The rest is still unwritten…

I must admit that I have become a Facebook fanatic! And while I don’t spend a lot of time on FB, I do have to check in a few times a day. But I’ve always been one for social networking…so this is just perfect for me.

Anyway, while on FB, I like to take some of the quizzes that people write. I had the opportunity to take a quiz “What is the Theme Song of Your Life?”. The result was “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. Now when I saw this title and artist, I had no idea what this song was, but thanks to good old www.youtube.com, I found a video. I LOVE THIS SONG!!

So I started listening to the words and thought that they were spot on for me! There are 4 parts that absolutely speak to me:

• Feel the rain on your skin…no one else can feel it for you

• I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

• Live your life with arms wide open

• Today is where your book begins…the rest is still unwritten

Talk about speaking directly to me!! It speaks to the fact that I have to live my own life, it speaks to my personality on doing things differently, it speaks living life BIG and it speaks to the fact that today is the first day of the rest of your life---and I am in charge of making whatever is next happen. For where I am right now, this song is going to become my anthem. Take a listen (link below) and peek at the words (also below) and hopefully it will inspire you as much as it did me.

Write your story!
A Cute Funky Handbag

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women


click here to see the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxEOkplpgjE&NR=1

Lyrics to "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah


[Lyrics from cosmic_angel89@hotmail.com, leo_da_lion88@hotmail.com, NICEMAN1974@AOL.COM, BREE, ngamewhiz@yahoo.com, keh111@comcast.net]

Precious

Last weekend I had the opportunity to go and see the movie Precious. Since I had not read the novel, I was very hesitant about seeing the movie. I had seen many previews of the movie and heard some commentary about it, but none of this prepared me for the movie.

First of all, let me say that the acting was AMAZING! That aside, I am not exactly sure how I felt about the movie. It was very raw and extended no soft blows. I shed so many tears in that theatre. I was appalled at some of the things that were happening to this young girl. Then it hit me, bits and pieces of this movie are a reality for so many young men and women in this world. It makes me thankful for the village of people that I have around me, but it also makes me very sad for those that have had to endure abuse, molestation, abandonment and hate. I pray that anyone facing these challenges come out as strong and triumphant as Precious.

If you have seen the movie, I would like to know your opinion. What did you think of the movie?


Clutch.

Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

Being Alone Does Not Mean That You Are Lonely

I had a talk with Stacey the other day and I must say that she is doing well. She talked about how she sometimes longed for Carl even though the relationship was terrible. Laughingly she said that it was nice to look around and have someone to talk to from time to time no matter how horrible the conversations were.

She would see couples and long for the relationship that they have. Nothing like the human touch, she thought. It is a feeling that could reach the very depths of the soul. Needless to say, Stacey was feeling alone. She had all of her material possession but that did not matter. She could only watch so much television, read so many books, go to so many movies and have so many phone conversations. This was getting old really fast!

Stacey thought about her options and realized that they were unlimited. Instead of doing the obvious which was looking for a companion, she decided to do some deep soul searching.

She thought about the things that she had done in life. The things that brought her joy and the things that brought her pain. She thought about how she shelved some of her dreams to satisfy her ex-husband. She thought about the offspring that she did not have because the time was never right.

As Stacey journaled these thoughts, it helped her figure out her next step. Instead of longing for a new relationship, Stacey decided to give some time to worthy causes. She had a dream of opening a free daycare center for working moms and her dream is now in progress. Once opened, she will have plenty of children to love inspite of not having her own.

Stacey closed her journal and thought to herself that my life is a testimony that being alone does not mean that I am lonely. There are so many things that can be done to occupy my time. So many chapters of life left uncompleted that I can now bring closure to. Being alone is not a bad thing!

Word to the Wise: Do not let circumstances dictate your life. You dictate the circumstances.

Mary Jane

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Open Your Mouth……

What do you say? Is the question I would like to ask some of the people who have the door held open for them by a stranger and then precedes them into the establishment? After the person stands there holding the door open and their party has proceeded in and on without them, he/she doesn’t even get a “Thank you”.

Our society complains about the younger generation….and about America turning into a rude group of people. We see crime is rising at alarming rates, so combat some of the anger with daily pleasantries. How about walking into McDonald’s or Starbuck’s for our morning cup of Ice Late’ with a smile and a cheerful “Good Morning”! Why can’t we place our money in her/his hand…since she/he gives us our change in our hands?

Women before you check out the young ladies entire outfit…from hair to silhouette….just smile…and say you look nice today. Even though you might not like the outfit…if it took you 10 minutes to gawk, it only takes a minute to smile or compliment something, even if it’s just the color of the purse, shoes, or hair.

We are turning into a country of grouchy, crude people. Yes, I understand unemployment and recession are negative aspects of America today…but what do we have to look forward to if everyone can’t be pleasant for only one small minute, or a second to give a friendly smile?

I’m so fed up with everyone being so nasty. We can’t stop the list of people being rude and ignorant, but we can at least, say “Thank You” to the Greeter at Wal-Mart when he/she says “Welcome to Wal-Mart”. My grandmother and Pastor used to say it’s just Nice to be Nice!

Chocolate Wedge
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Appreciating our own !!!!!

Appreciating our own

Who has seen the cover of the ESPN magazine lately, we have seen this young lady and her sister grow up with a dream, and the dream came through.

We have seen her at her best and worst, when she recently had a blowout with the Line Judge. This was a a big issue all over the news.
Now in a new light, Serena Williams, is now gracing this magazine in all her glory, to my knowledge that did not seem to get a big whooha, I could be wrong.

Blacks, people of color, especially women around the world, and here in the U.S.A seem to have grown to appreciate their own. Appreciating what they are, their size and have developed a better sense of self.

Recently this was the discussion with a group of young ladies I was seeing. They stated in their own way how appreciative they are now to be considered the desirable race. A young lady stated, “ jeez, there are even dolls like us now, and they are in demand". Not only that, but it is kind of the "in thing" to be black.”

Weird statement, definitely, but great to hear. When I asked this young lady to clarify what that meant, she stated, who would think in our generation, that there would be an appreciation of people of color.

Imagine that !!!!!!!



Exotic Chocolate, Sling Back


Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Heart Content

I am still on a high from the inspiring and unforgettable words and testimonies that I experienced at an economic empowerment conference this past weekend. The theme of the conference was Take Ownership. I am changed forever and more determined to take ownership of the content of my heart by uprooting EVERY PLANT in me that I know is not from the Father. Recently I wrote about the “I don’t want no kids” tree that was rooted out of my heart. Most of us either consciously or subconsciously have a whole forest of plants, trees, and shrubs in need of rooting out. You have to do it. If you’re feeling or experiencing any negative thing, it is not from the Father! Why deal with it?

In Matthew 15:13, Jesus said “Every plant not planted by my heavenly Father will be uprooted… (NLT) These plants are uprooted by replacing them with the Word of God.

So what plants are you dealing with? Is it debt, sadness, doubt, fear, shame, worry? There’s a Word with the power to destroy, tear down, dig out and uproot every evil or grievous thing! Here are a few below, but create your list and search the scriptures yourself. When you find the promise, meditate it by memorizing it, muttering it, musing it, and confessing it until it is in your Spirit. Once this new plant of love, joy, courage, power, or whatever your need takes hold continue to cultivate and fertilize it with even more Word!

Take back your life! Take ownership of the content of your heart!

Debt
Romans 13:8 (KJV) - Owe no man any thing, but to love one another
Proverbs 22:7 (KJV) – The rich ruleth over the poor and the borrower is servant to the lender
Confession – I owe no man anything but love and I am the lender and not the borrower!

Fear
2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) – For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Confession – God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind!

Shame
Isaiah 61:7 (NLT) - Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
Confession – I feel no shame or dishonor, I enjoy double honor, a double portion of prosperity, and everlasting joy!

Worry
Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT) - Don’t worry about anything instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Confession – I don’t worry about anything. I pray and tell God what I need and thank him. I am experiencing God’s peace which exceeds my understanding and guards my heart and mind!

Kitten Heels

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Time to get ready for Christmas!

Ahhhh…Halloween is over and it’s time to turn my attention to my favorite time of year…Christmas! Yes, I know that Thanksgiving is in the middle, but after Halloween, it’s full speed ahead to Christmas for me. Thanksgiving is merely a speed bump on the road.

I must admit that I like everything about Christmas…from the religious celebrations to the commercialism of the season. But all in all, I think that this time of year causes people to act better towards each other and look forward to the things of the season to come.

I’d like to offer some hints that I follow to help ease you into this busy time of year.

The first thing that I try to do is to get my calendar together. There are so many things going on and I hate to miss anything. From exhibits to programs to ceremonies to parties, a calendar is the key to organization. And if you have a family to keep track of, may I suggest a big, centrally located one?

Next, I like to start formulating my Christmas card and Christmas gift lists. The earlier I get started with my gift list, the better chance I have of getting gifts that people really like. It also helps with not leaving anyone off the list. And because I am such an impulsive shopper, a list helps me to stay on track.

Finally, I like to check out my decorations and see if there is anything that I need to replace or add to however I am planning to decorate. Every year there are always so many wonderful new things that come out (and don’t forget, I’m an impulsive shopper), so if I re-evaluate what I have, I am able to minimize my desires to purchase new decorations (sounds good anyway, right?)

Once all of that is done…let the shopping begin!!!

A Cute Funky Handbag

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

He is a sailor now!!

He did it!! My son made it through boot camp and is now a sailor in the United States Navy!!! I was able to attend his graduation and it is something that I can honestly say I will never forget.

My son went into the Navy as a teenager in August for 9 long weeks. He successfully triumphed over all of the rigorous boot camp training. On October 29th I witnessed not a teenager but a young man and it was a very, very proud moment for me!!!

He didn’t look all that different in the face but he stands taller, he speaks with confidence, and he walks with a slight swagger that I have never seen in my son before. Actually to say that I was very, very proud is a HUGE understatement because I was and am so much more than that. I don’t think I can even properly describe the feelings that I had while I watched the ceremony.

What I really want to convey is that prayer works and please don’t give up on your kids. They are all smart, talented little miracles that can succeed even when things don’t look all that successful. We just have to believe, pray, encourage, and then finally let go. In my opinion, parenting is the hardest job because it never ends but hands down it’s the most rewarding!!

Stiletto,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

RELATIONSHIPS AFTER ?

Good Morning Friends,

I have over the last year or so really thought about myself in a loving and secure relationship. While most of us desire that from another person, it seems to get harder as we get older. Is it because we change as we get older? I don’t think it is so much as changing, I think as individuals we start to look at for different things.

In our twenties, we are invincible. We are the fiercest beings walking up right. We can snag what we want whenever we want it. In our thirties, reality starts to creep in. Our bodies start to change and real life happens. Rent/mortgages, bills, loans and so on. Relationships are still fun and fierce. We party, indulge and still feel like we have plenty going on to keep us moving in the relationship department.

So what should a sound relationship look like when we reach our 40’s? Here are my thoughts. I think that all of the above should still apply with just a little more finesse. In our 40’s we start to have a broader view of what we want and more importantly what we need from a mate. Of course appeal and appearance is a factor, I would be lying if I didn’t say that it was. Thinking about it, I am not sure that it is the deciding factor though. Honestly, you want someone appealing to the eye but it is more important for you to be treated well and respected. People are not that complex to me. If you can hold an intelligent conversation, make me laugh, smell good (a major plus), have a beautiful smile (another major plus) and take care of yourself. Sounds like a keeper!

What should the 40 year old relationship look like? At 40 we should be close if not sure of what it will take for us to be happy. I think that we should be secure in whatever place we are in and be open and ready to receive a mate. Not to say that it can’t happen earlier, but by the 40’s the life that you have been using up should be ready to be shared with another human being.

Here are some checklist points that I think would place you in a category to open yourself up to the wonders of a partnership, be it at 40 or not.

You are secure in the place you stand today. You are good with you and all that you are

You are open to the fact that we are human and we all have flaws. No one is perfect

You can accept a person for who they are and what they have to offer not for what you want them to be or have

You can keep it real with yourself, be honest about what you want and need from a mate. If they don’t fit the script, don’t cast the role

Keep your heart open and your eyes too. Be willing to let someone in but don’t sell yourself short in the process

Be genuine, if you don’t like or agree with something, speak up. This can only make a relationship stronger; if not oh well they are not for you.

Listen to the quiet voice and what it says, it won’t steer you wrong

Let me know what you think.

Much Love

Chanel

Real Life Real Talk Real Women

Faith

Anyone who knows anything about Faith knows that it’s hard to come by, and even harder to stick to. This is especially true during the tough times that we are currently experiencing. It seems that so many of us are in a panic. We are losing jobs, finances, cars and homes at record speed. Crime seems to be getting more heinous, and the offenders even younger. How on earth do you keep your faith in times like these? Like so many others, I am guilty of letting fear of the unknown and human emotion get the best of me. I often say that I won’t worry about the things that I can’t control, but end up in a worried panic anyway.

My mother is one of the most amazing faces of strength and unshakable faith that I have ever seen. I have never seen her worry or fret about the things that are out of her control. She just says a prayer and releases it. I guess that’s why at 65 years of age, she has not a wrinkle on her face. I have prayed to get to that place.

Since practice makes perfect, each Sunday I think of something that has me worried and I release it. I turn it over to faith. I have really been flexing my spiritual muscle and it feels good. I feel stronger and more carefree each week. No gym membership required. I’m not sure that I can move mountains yet, but maybe a large hill. I am coming full circle in remembering that the source of all of my needs never filed Chapter 11, doesn’t believe in lay-offs and has the best health care plan known to man. As long as I can keep the faith, all of my needs will be cared for.

Have Faith,

Clutch


Real Life. Real Talk. Real Women.

PICK UP THE PIECES

The Conclusion

Needless to say, Stacey did not cope well with the separation from Carl.

She replayed all of the crazy episodes in her head over and over again. "Was I a good wife?" "Did I do all the things that a wife should do?" "Was I there for Carl whenever he needed me?"

She tried to find a reason why this could have happened. After much talk with friends, family, and her pastor, she came to the conclusion that she could no longer blame herself for Carl's behavior. If she had done all that she could to fight for her marriage, then she had no other choice but to move forward with her life.

This meant changing her focus. Stacey had to get back to loving herself.

She started the healing process by first forgiving Carl for what he had done and then she forgave herself. This gave her such a huge sense of relief and Stacey felt like the shackles of bondage were finally broken.

Though she went through some periods of sadness, she regained her strength, peace, and there was no hate in her heart.

As therapy, Stacey began journeling. One particular passage that she wrote in pain spoke so clearly to her now. "In life you must always make room for adjustments because there will never be a perfect fit."

Unfortunately Carl and Stacey divorced. It was an emotional process, but in every experience, there are lessons to be learned.

That is it, she said. It is time to end the pity party and go on with life...time to pick up the pieces. The first piece in the puzzle is ME!

Word to the Wise: Life can be like a puzzle. It has many pieces (life experiences) that come together to form the stories of your life. When destruction comes and scatters puzzle pieces to and fro, you can either allow them to be blown away or start working to pick up the pieces. A puzzle is not complete unless you have the most important pieces in the center (God and you). If there are missing pieces around the edges, those are the areas where you can make adjustment because they do not define the finished product.

Next weeks installment: Being alone does not mean that you are lonely.

Mary Jane

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

The Death of a Parent

It’s inevitable right? I mean we all know that our parents won’t live forever, right? Well I guess when we are older we know that but it still doesn’t change how much it hurts.

My Mom died just about 15 years ago. She was only in her fifties; unfortunately she didn’t lead a very healthy lifestyle. When I got the news that she was rushed to the hospital I was living in California at the time and she was in Boston. At first I was shocked, I mean my Mom has had her run in with sickness based on her lifestyle but she always managed to pull out of it and come out okay. This time I could tell it was going to be different.

When I spoke to family members I suppose they were trying to hold back because they didn’t make me feel like it was an emergency. But I felt the need to speak with her doctor directly. I was glad that I did because he suggested that I think about coming home immediately. Like I said, at first I was in shock. I seriously didn’t know what to think or do. Thankfully my job at the time told me to take care of home and not to worry about how many days I might be gone and so forth, so that was one less thing I had to worry about.

I managed to get myself home early that next morning and went directly to the hospital. During my flight home my Mom slipped into a coma and the doctors didn’t think that she would come out of it. Again just shock and emptiness because I didn’t even remember the last words that I said to her. Since we weren’t in the habit of saying I Love You, I knew those words weren’t the last ones. I wanted to cry but honestly nothing would come out so all I could do was sit and stare at the women that had done the best job she knew how with raising me.

As the rest of my family members came to the hospital the conversation about pulling the plug began. I couldn’t believe my ears! Didn’t anyone want to see if a miracle was going to occur???? I just got there, why were they discussing pulling the plug so soon????? I found my voice and although I am the youngest I made it perfectly clear that there will be no plug pulling just yet. I just needed more time to sort things out, to think and to pray.

The next day I had a long talk with the doctor and he explained that there wasn’t much more that could be done for my Mom. If she were to come out of the coma the damage that had occurred was too severe and on top of all that, her left leg would need to be amputated just below the knee due to a blood clot. Basically my mother had completely stopped taking her medicine and went back to eating very unhealthy for several months and all of that had taken a toll on her body. She suffered a massive stroke that damaged much of the right side of her body. The doctor said that she would probably not be able to speak again or do anything for herself.

Armed with all of that information and having prayed about the whole situation the night before and all the way over to the hospital, that day I decided that it would be best to let my Mom go. So we pulled the plug and she passed away over night.

I didn’t have time to cry, it was time to make the funeral arrangements. I did just that and managed to get through the services just fine. It wasn’t until we reached the grave site and her coffin lowered that I lost it. It was at that very moment that I knew she was really gone. Even though it’s been 15 years I still think about my Mom and get overcome with sadness. But I know she is with me and I know she watches over me.

So to those of you who are blessed enough to have one or both parents these are the thoughts I want to leave you with......let them know you love them. Yes I know they can sometimes be difficult even challenging as they grow older but cherish the time that you have with them.

Stiletto,
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Hobo’s Question of the Day:

Quoting one of my favorite singers, Marvin Gaye, I have to ask the question “What’s going on”? I am referring to what is going on with our world today and have we as a culture/society completely gone “crazy”?

I ask this question because recently at my place of work I had the opportunity to speak with young adults (17-24) who have recently had run-ins with the law or have very extensive backgrounds with crime and arrests.

Just last week I had a discussion with a young man who was trying (unsuccessfully) to explain to me the idea of the no “snitching” rule (belief). The young man told me that he had recently lost his father to gang violence and that it was almost a year ago that his brother was killed.

He told me that not only did he know the individuals who killed his brother, but people in his neighborhood knew who killed his father; however no one was going to inform the authorities about what they knew. He also stated that he had no intentions of “revenge” nor was he going to speak out against the persons who had murdered his family members or going to the authorities himself. He stated that it was not “in my blood to snitch” and the reason for so much recent crime and killing in the cities is a result of too many people snitching and no longer having any honor or “respect for the game”.

So, my question is, am I truly naive and do I no longer understand the way society behaves? Is it naive of me to believe that love and respect for your neighbor should be a rule instead of “no snitching”? Finally, does anyone else believe in the old saying “what’s done in the dark always comes to the light”?

Looking for answers,
Hobo

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

Sharing A Word from Joel Osteen

If you aren’t a Christian, or don’t believe in a Higher Power, my apologies…this message isn’t for you. For those of us who do believe, I wanted to share this daily inspiration with you.

I am “one of those” who loves Joel Osteen (Minister of one of the country’s largest mega-churches). It seems that every message that he gives is tailor made for me and what I happen to be going through at the time. This message is no different.

Change Your Song
Today´s Scripture: "Unto You, O my Strength, I will sing praises; for God is my Defense, my Fortress, and High Tower, the God Who shows me mercy and steadfast love"(Psalm 59:17, AMP).

Today´s Word:
In the Bible, David had all kinds of challenges. People lied about him, accused him, and tried to kill him. In Psalm 59 he says, "My enemies are coming against me like vicious dogs trying to destroy me. But as for me, what am I going to do? I will sing about Your power. And I will shout for joy for You are my refuge, my place of safety in my day of distress."

Notice, in David’s time of need, he wasn’t sitting around having a pity party and complaining. He decided to sing about the greatness of God. He was saying in effect, "My enemies may be powerful, but I know my God is all powerful. My obstacles may be high, but I know my God is the Most High." He wasn’t talking to God about how big his problems were; he was talking to his problems about how big his God was!

Do you need to change your song today? Instead of complaining and thinking about what you’re not, start thanking God for what you are becoming. Just like David, stay in faith and sing to the Lord knowing that He’s going to complete what He’s started in you.

Prayer for Today:
"Father God, today I choose to focus on You. I bless and praise You no matter what my circumstances look like. I know that You are on my side and thank You for always leading me in the path of victory. In Jesus´ Name. Amen."

Taken from Today’s Word with Joel and Victoria of Joel Osteen Ministries, September 17, 2009.
Direct link:

http://www.joelosteen.com/MessageViewer/Pages/MessageViewer.aspx?date=2009-09-17

The thing that brings this message home for me is “He wasn’t talking to God about how big his problems were; he was talking to his problems about how big God was!” That sentence speaks volumes to me and shows me that I sometimes might need to look at things from a different perspective. And the Prayer for today is one that I plan to add to my daily routine.

I hope this message spoke to you too!!

A Cute Funky Handbag

Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women

To internet date or not, that is the question!

I have lived in Minnesota now for a little over a year and really haven’t done all that much when it comes to dating. Actually, I haven’t done any dating at all since I’ve been here...LOL! I do get out and I go places but I am finding it rather difficult to meet anyone of the opposite sex that I’m remotely attracted to or interested in.

I told myself way back when that I would NEVER internet date and I am finding more and more that you just shouldn’t use the word NEVER! No, I haven’t tried it yet but I have been seriously contemplating the idea. I mean at least it will give me the opportunity to meet new people right??

I have a friend who is also a transplant and has been here probably 6-7 months and has been dating up a storm! She is now seeing someone exclusively and I think it’s rather serious. Now please understand I’m not looking for all of that…..but an occasional movie or a bite to eat with someone of the opposite sex would be kind of nice.

So this is aimed at those of you who have tried this whole internet dating phenomenon. I would love to hear your take on it. The verdict is not in yet for me, in terms of what I’m going to do, but maybe some of what you share will help me come to a decision.

Stiletto
Real Life, Real Talk, Real Women